Witnessing the Moment

At the start of the year, I spend time welcoming a new way of being into my existence. A few years ago, the word that came to me to be more present with was, “Listener”. The year after that was “Nurturer”. Each year I set the intention to embody more of my truest essence. I do this, with the objective of being more fully present with my most authentic vision.
This New Year’s Day I sat in contemplation wondering what word would really hit home for me. I let a few words slip past me... “presence”, “attentive”, “release”. As I’m trying to let myself go with the process and let go of the strong desire to force the word, I observe my nearly 7 month old daughter crawling along the floor. As I watch her, she crawls toward another baby. The two of them share a tender moment of giggles, squeals and gentle touches. Their shared moment brought tears to my eyes. They shared smiles, innocent curiosity and unconditional acceptance of one another. Not only did they accept one another, they witnessed one another. Witness. The word struck me and made my heart leap. This year, I welcome the opportunity to fully embrace being “Witness”. When I am Witness, I allow myself to be out of my head and more fully present in the moment. Out of my head means I get to let go of making meaning of the situation and instead I see it as it is. As Witness, I let go of my judgments and gift myself with the presence of the moment and all that it comes with; joy, lessons, beauty, opportunity to fully connect. As I sat observing these two precious babies, I knew that Witness was mine to embody this year. When I think about the observers in my life, I am reminded that when others are around to observe me, I tend to be a more patient, more available and more conscious about my actions. I’ve often wondered what motivates this behavior. Was it ego, “I want to look good in front of so-an-so”. Was it to feel superior? “I want to do it better than so-and-so.” As I sit with being more of a witness/observer to my own surroundings and actions, I realize that my desire to be a better person in the company of others is just that, having an observer to be accountable to. Each of us know what is best for our own lives. Today thousands of New Year’s Resolutions will be declared. Some will even involve follow through. Others will not. Most that fail will fail not because the individual wasn’t personally invested or passionate about the resolution, but because there was little/no accountability. As I allow myself to show up in my life and yours as observer, I support accountability. I encourage letting go of the idea that I need to take the situation/words/experience personally. As observer, I witness it, allow it, and feel more fully connected to the opportunity that resides in the moment. I find myself often asking my clients to simply observe their lives. “You’ve stated this goal. Let go of the desire to judge yourself if it does/doesn’t get accomplished and instead, observe how/why/why not of what transpires. Allow that observation to serve you to make the next move, or not.

When you allow yourself to sit in the silence, what word is calling for your attention?
What are you ready to incorporate more of into your life? How will you hold yourself accountable to what you say you are ready for this year?

To being Witness to the journey!

Star Staubach CPC

Permission granted, ASK for what you want!

A few years ago, I went to the hair dresser really wanting natural curl. I've never had curls, other than when I had perms in the early 90's. In fact, I've only experienced very straight and limp hair. I sat down in the salon chair and expressed my desire for natural curls. You can imagine my surprise when the hairdresser said, "Oh yes! We can do that. You have curl, you just have to support the curl to come out more." I couldn't believe it. I had what I wanted, it was already there, waiting for me to ask the question, waiting for me to encourage it to come out.
What if YOU could have what it is that you desire? What if it were there, waiting for you to attend to it? What if? Can you allow yourself to believe it to be possible? Notice, have you already activated the voice of doubt? Are you finding yourself saying, "That might work for something trivial like your hair, but it can't/doesn't work like that for REAL life." WHAT IF!?? What could it hurt to entertain the thought that it is possible? What if you simply allowed youself to ask? Notice, when I sat down and expressed my wish, I wasn't attached to a yes, I simply asked. Key ingredients in receiving what you want:
1. Allow yourself to have the thought that what you want is possible.
2. Allow yourself to state it out loud - ASK for what you want!
3. Allow yourself to release the expectation, open to any answer that you receive.
4. Allow yourself to be open and receptive to your way looking a bit different than you initially intended.
5. Be willing to put a bit of effort into making it happen!
6. BELIEVE!
7. Your own special ingredient! What would you add to the list?
May this year be one filled with you breathing in the possibility that your wildest dreams could and will come true. I see this year serving you as you fully connect to your power, raising yourself to experience the light you radiate simply by being YOU.

Cheers to you! Cheers to making life happen in a big way!

Resolutions or No Resolutions, That is the Question

I cannot think of a time when I've actually made a resolution and stuck to it. In the past, I've had big plans of losing weight, creating a "plan" to improve life, going after a better job, finding love and the list goes on. I have had the best of intentions, thinking that, "This year will be the year that I will change my life!" My life has changed, and I don't think I'd contribute it to any of the many New Year's Resolutions that I set.
A few years ago I went to a Sunday service that was different than any that I'd ever attended. On New Year's Day the sermon was about allowing one word to be integrated into life more often. I was challenged to not only integrate the word, I was challenged to take action on it. The word was not suggested from outside, it was a word that surfaced when I allowed myself to take a moment and simply be with my truth.

When asking myself, "What am I ready to give more attention to in my life?", I was able to gain clarity about what I may have been neglecting in the past. Last year my word was, "Listen". It can be a simple word, and to me, it has so many different applications. The most important listening for me this year to attend to was the listening from within, listening to my truth, the deep knowing that I have which allows me to move forward. When I gift myself with the space and opportunity to simply listen, I am able to make clearer choices that are more in alignment with my values as well as my purpose and vision. So where has that listening shown up? How has my ability to listen impacted my year? My listening has shown up in my coaching, allowing me to be truly present, giving my clients the ability to have great moments of clarity, creating powerful and lasting change. My ability to listen has supported me to be a stronger and more present mother to my precious daughter. I have a true awareness that even in the toughest of times, when I listen to the situation, not the screaming, there is a message for me ("This is Meadow being tired, not her displaying her dislike for me.") My listening has supported me to become an active board member within my spiritual community. It has allowed me to let go of the pressure to make unhealthy relationships work , while making room for those that are mutually rewarding. Listening gave me the greatest treasure this Spring when my darling husband was layed off from his place of employment after 13 years of service. Initially we were scared. The fear didn't last long, as we started to allow ourselves to be with what was happening. The Spring turned into Summer, which became a magical time of family. As we continued to live on the severance that he received we knew that our situation was bound to change, and change it did! By letting go of the fear, we were able to enjoy the gift of the time we were given. By trusting the situation, my husband was able to be available to receive a BIGGER and much BETTER job. At the beginning of that situation, we never would have known, or have been able to dream up the results that eventuated.

What word is jumping out to you as you step into a New Year? What are you ready to give more focus to?

Governing Principles

What are the principles, laws shaping your choices? During a time of recent reflection, I was able to gain clarity about what governs me. I realize that it is my Ego which thinks that I have the power to save, heal or rescue another from the situation that I deem to be chaotic. It is the Ego that gets hooked by thinking that others "should" not be experiencing exactly as they are. When I reflect and go deeper with what I want to honor and see as a result of my actions; showing up as a hero. I notice that it is not that I want to truly rescue, rather I want to witness. I want to be present with the whole person I come into contact with. I have a strong desire to honor and acknowledge who you are at the core of your being. Ego slips into rescue mode when I perceive you masking your true self. Ego slips into wanting to save you when I judge the soul as being smothered. It is my truest intention not to pry the mask off, not to see it as a mask at all. Instead, I welcome you just as you are, wherever you are on YOUR journey. As I hold out my arms to greet you, I too will honor my essence and refrain from allowing the Ego Hero to emerge. Instead, I choose to show up in your life as a compassionate, loving and eternal space filled with a welcoming heart.

What are your guiding principles? How do they show up in your actions? What do you notice drives your choices?

Who Are You Showing Up As?

I recently found myself in a situation where it was pointed out to me that I was not acting like myself. My husband and I were playing a game with friends. When a bold move by a friend left me nearly knocked out of the game I started to feel rather angry, defensive and my behavior showed it. My husband gently reminded me, "honey, it is only a game." Even with the reminder, I found it difficult to calm myself down. I tried to talk myself down, "Star, what is going on with you? What is this all about?" I was feeling like a victim - "They are doing this TO me!" How does being victim serve me? It makes me right and them wrong. WOW, was it all about ego and wanting to be right about how the game "should" be played. I embarrassed to say that it took me much longer than I would have liked to calm myself down from this state. Even after the laughing and fun were breathed back into the game, I continued to internalize my behavior. This time it wasn't about others, it was about me and how I reacted. The bottom line; I felt terrible not feeling connected to who I know myself to be, a fun loving, playful, uncontainable free spirit. I was so far removed from that part of myself that it took awhile to get back to and even then, I continued to play the scenario over in my head, well into bedtime. Where does victim fit in being a fun loving, playful, uncontainable free spirit? It doesn't.

What wants to be fed?

Where are you noticing clutter or mess showing up in your life? As I clean out my cupboard, I am met with the question, "What stopped me from doing this when I noticed the bag of opened sunflower seeds spilled all over?" Several things come to mind; the sunflower seeds were not hurting anything, they weren't spoiling, attracting bugs or creating MORE mess. The bottom line - it wasn't of immediate importance for me to clean them up. They did however, create a little anxiety each time i saw them, thinking, "I should clean that mess up." It feels good to have that mess taken care of. And the birds got to eat the spilled sunflower seeds! What is being unattended to in your life? What will be fed in you when you give it the attention it is calling for?

Whose Path is it Anyway?

There are times when I have friends, family and clients coming to me saying, "Star, tell me what to do. Tell me how to fix this situation I'm in." One client shared this testimonial after experiencing this within a coaching relationship; “It is often that I wished Star would just tell me what to do or guide me on how to conduct myself. No matter how hard I try, she always brings it back to me and what it is I am truly seeking.” I recognize that I may have ideas to share and I welcome brainstorming to uncover opportunities that might be dwelling in a blind spot. What I am aware of is that it is always much more powerful for me to arrive at my own answers than it is for me to adopt someone else's. In fact, there have been times when adhering to someone else's advice left me further from my true desires and authentic self. I hold the belief that we each have the answers we seek. Through a process of powerful questions, creating awareness around blind spots and meaningful reflection, you become more connected to the path and the answers that most serve your vision. Whose path are you on? Where are you headed?