Beat Your Own Drum

What thoughts do you have when you hear a statement about beating your own drum? At a workshop recently, a young man said that he feels most alive when he drums.  He was asked to do it on the spot.  When he did, the audience erupted in dance and excitement.  His drumming not only made him come alive, it supported others to do the same.  OK, so he quite literally was drumming, but it got me to thinking that this is a great metaphor for life.  It made me wonder, what is my gift?  What do I have that when expressed brings more joy to the world? I ask the same question of you.  What supports you to beat your own drum of excellence?  If you are anything like me, you might have mind chatter that tells you that beating your own drum is egotistical and selfish.  Maybe you tell yourself that somehow doing so would make you stand out, leaving others to feel insignificant.  The truth that I witnessed as this young man beat on his makeshift drum was quite the opposite of insignificance. Instead, the audience felt more alive! He felt witnessed, validated, and celebrated!  Everyone was lifted by the experience of him beating away, at his own rhythm. Had he played softly, none of them would have had the same experience.  Not all of us have an actual drum that we play on, but we do have a unique gift and when expressed, that gift ignites a spark in the world.   When stifled, tucked away, dismissed and sometimes even shamed, we deprive ourselves and others the opportunity of experiencing the great joy that results from full self expression.  Do yourself a favor and stop the pain of dismissing your gifts. For years, I allowed myself to be contained for fear of what others would think or how they would feel about it.  I could feel the restriction of it and the pain of putting myself into a box that didn’t fit me.  I tried to fit in, blend in and play it safe. 

Give yourself permission to beat your own drum.  Full expression improves the lives of those around you.  Beware, there are some however, who are used to you being contained and it feels uncomfortable and even unpredictable for them if you no longer fit that mold.  It will feel challenging for you to keep your beat.  Over time you'll naturally gravitate to those who celebrate and encourage you while giving you permission to fully be you.  

1. Surround yourself with at least 2-4 people who are able to see you and celebrate, encourage and believe in you. 
2. Notice the way you feel and the way others feel when you are expressing your gifts. Can you think of a time when you felt really joyful after expressing talents?  Maybe it was after a meal you prepared or after delivering a report to a group of peers.  Take notice of how this moment not only blessed you and made you feel whole, but it also blessed those who were present to witness it. 
3. Ask for feedback when it feels appropriate. 
4. Create a “GO FOR IT” pile.  When others are witness to your gifts, they share compliments and encouraging words.  Collect these words of affirmation and return to them when you feel distanced from or in question of your own talent.  This list will support you to keep going through the moments when you feel like the lonely drummer.  

Remember, although you may beat the rhythm of your own drum, others can pick up and will jive with you when you start.  They’re waiting for you to start, so that they can jump in with you!, sharing in a dance of joy and aliveness!  

Here’s to you beating your drum, attracting and connecting with others who resonate with your rhythm and vibe.  I see you shining!  

If you would like to more fully express your talents, feel free to contact Star Staubach for your complimentary consultation.