The Joy of Letting Go

The Joy of Letting Go

Have you ever begun something with really high motivation, only to hit a road block that left you wondering if you’d ever see the result you set out for?  What do you do in that situation?  How do you navigate beyond that road block?  I found myself in that space recently, and it was deflating and left me feeling paralyzed. I didn’t know what to do and the image of achieving my goal was rapidly slipping from my thoughts.  Instead, my mind was riddled with more obstacles, fears, and doubts.  My head was filled with next steps of implementation for my business, while everywhere else, I was getting signs that my children needed me to stop attending to work and start attending to them.  My sitter quit: “This is my last day. So sorry. I can’t do this.”  It was in this space that I did the thing that felt most uncomfortable to me -- I let go.  I let go of forcing the answer.  I let go of needing it to look my way.  I let go of thinking I was in charge.  Reality was quickly showing me that I had little control of the situation.  It was a ROUGH space to be in.  It felt heavy and paralyzing, and I couldn’t see a way out. The moment I gave myself permission to let go, everything changed.  The following day was filled with a sense of ease, joy, appreciation, and much laughter.  I felt the weight lift.  Admittedly, my mind still wanted to drift to the “problems” of my situation.  I consciously decided to stay clear of thinking about it and instead chose to  focus on being present, in the moment with my children.  Passion and Relationship Coach, Joshua Barfelz of Unearth the Passion discusses this within relationships, encouraging each of us to go to the discomfort. The amygdala (fight or flight portion of our brain) is triggered when we feel discomfort and fear.  In that space we either fight with the situation (or person) we are faced with, or we flee.  Barfelz suggests that when it comes to relationships, since we are relatively safe, but feeling emotionally challenged, it is actually best when we stay with it, and do whatever feels MOST uncomfortable; connect, go to the other person, invite yourself to be more present to the situation, resist the urge to run from the problem.  Spending time with my children was not uncomfortable for me. Instead, the idea that spending time with them would be the solution felt distant.  It felt like I was being irresponsible to my business. In fact, it was the MOST responsible thing I could have done.  While attending to my children, I held the belief and trust that somehow I would find the time to implement my most important next steps for my business.  I surrendered the idea of needing the answers and instead welcomed the opportunity for solutions to flow my way. As you may have guessed, everything worked out fine.  You most likely didn’t notice that I didn’t have a newsletter to you, phone calls and other business-related obligations were tended to on an as-needed basis, which were extremely limited. Most importantly, my girls got to spend quality time with me, and I with them.  I got to see their sweet faces lit up, giggling, and free of worry.  I immediately found another sitter who is delighted at the opportunity to be with my girls AND I attracted a sponsor for my radio show -- a MAJOR WIN in my business and something I have been seeking for months.  I share this with you because I believe this same experience can be yours.  What are you feeling yourself gripping onto?  What are you wanting to flee?  Gift yourself (and others) by going to what feels most uncomfortable.  Extend a gesture to the person you’re feeling distanced from.  Remove yourself from a situation that you feel stuck in.  Notice the way you typically respond and today choose to be with the situation differently by doing what feels uncomfortable.  I believe in you.  Share your comments and feedback below.  Like what you’re reading? Pass it along it along to a friend, maybe this message being passed is your way of extending the olive branch needed.