No! Not the Unsolicited Advice!

There is a time for sharing advice and there is a time to close your mouth and open your ears.  How do I know this?  I find myself in the trap of offering unsolicited advice.  In fact, sharing unsolicited advice can not only hurt you, it can delay the growth and progress of your closest loved ones, the ones you intend to support.  When you believe in the gifts of others, the significance of their journey, in who they are, you refrain from giving the advice that they have not asked for.  When you allow yourself to simply be present with them and listen, you allow them to experience their journey, to shine, to learn the lessons that are for them to experience.  WAKE up to the hero that resides in you, trusting that the same hero resides within your loved one.  When you are present and listening, you demonstrate a belief in others and an appreciation for who they are, exactly as they are.  Release the desire to save, fix or rescue them, recognizing the truth that he is the one who has the power to change the situation he finds herself in.  Zip it when you feel inclined to interject or share unsolicited advice.  Choose to no longer undermine who he  is and the powerful wisdom he has to arrive at the answers that are right for him. Unsolicited advice can make us feel incompetent.  Zip the lip. Learn to listen.  Ask questions and remain curious.  Let go of the idea that you have anyone's answers but your own.  The truth that I live by is that YOU are the only one who has your answers.  Remain available should others find themselves in need of support to discover those internal answers.  Ask for permission, "Can I share what has helped me in a similar situation?"  Liberate yourself from feeling like you have to rescue anyone other than yourself.  YOU are your greatest hero.  Gift others with the opportunity to discover the hero within.  Perhaps somewhere in the listening, you'll discover something in the moment that is profound for you.