Flowing Toward Ease

As I was on my way to pick up my daughter from school yesterday, construction required that I change lanes.  As the arrow is blinking at me to get over, I activated my turning signal, indicating that I'd like to be let into the traffic in the next lane.  Although there was enough space for the car behind me to let me in, the driver didn't notice me and continued on.  In an instant I felt frustrated and dismissed.  I may have even spoken a few expletives in my head.  If I am ONLY paying attention to what I am doing, to what MY car is doing, I run the risk of being injured in a car accident.  If I drop all of my attention from myself and place it only on those around me, I still run the risk a crash.

How does this focus play a role in my life?  When I leave myself out of the equation of where my energy goes, I notice a personal downward spiral.  You may as well throw playfulness out the window.  Present and patient?  No way!  I am quick to snap, judge and be angry.  When I lose sight of personal awareness, I feel reckless, just as I would in a car.  However, the opposite extreme of ONLY focusing on myself does not feel good either.  It feels out of alignment.  Do know the feeling when you're car is out of alignment?  I know that feeling all too well.  Recently after hitting a drain, I knocked my car out of alignment.  It felt scary, reckless and out of control.  It made me cry out for help, insisting that I look to others for support, guidance and repair.  You see, I do not have to be an island.  I do not have to do it all on my own.  Somewhere in my life I adopted the idea that I had to be in charge, or else things wouldn't get done.  As I diffuse that story, I notice the ease that comes with delegating, releasing control and allowing the flow of trusting.  Just as the safest place to be in traffic is aware and flowing with what is happening, I allow that same flow in my day.  I trust myself in knowing what to do next, when to call for help and when to let go.  I let go, not because I have to, but instead because I do not wish for the craziness of thinking that I have to do it all.

What can you let go of today?  How can you shift your focus to bring you greater balance, ease, joy and flow?

Divorcing Fear

Tools to separate yourself from fear: 

1. Become clear about the intentions of the action.  What you are motivated by?  If you are motivated by anything other than your truest values, you will feel it and others will too!

2. Over analysis causes paralysis.  Having a completed product is better than having no product at all.  Become aware if perfection paralysis is stopping you.


3. Take one small step toward your goal.  Even if it means that you simply put your running shoes on and wear them for the day.  As you do, you're creating a new neural pathway to the brain.  After you've mastered this new habit of wearing running shoes, you'll take the next step of actually running.  This step building actually creates new pathways, sending messages to the brain.   Before you know it you'll go from, "I wear running shoes." to "I am a runner." 


4. Notice other times when you've been able to complete a similar task.  Allow yourself to be motivated by the relief and excitement of completion.


5. Make a list of what you are saying NO to and what you are saying YES to.  For me, saying YES to this newsletter means saying NO to being stuck with fear. Saying YES  to sending it out means YES to new opportunities of growth for my highly motivated clients!  YES to living my purpose, YES to living my dream, YES to seeing others live enriched lives! 

Fear; The Indicator of Growth

A lot of exciting things are happening with Stellar Evolution Coaching!  I am noticing that as the business evolves, my fears are having the opportunity to be tested.  The coolest part of the process of growth is that the fears are usually NEVER as big in reality as they are in my mind.  Do you have the same experience?    Sometimes I even notice my fears holding me back.  As I was running last week, I could feel myself holding back with the thought, "I have to hold back, I don't want to over do it.  What if I can't keep this momentum?  What if I run out of breath?  What if I collapse in exhaustion?"  The reality is, what if any one of those fears did actually come to fruition?  The truth is, if I feel out of breath, overwhelmed, or exhausted, I will automatically slow down.  My body knows what I need and I trust that I am not going to allow myself to collapse in exhaustion from a light jog.  The key word?  Trust.  If fear is showing up, it is an indication that growth is around the corner.  Growing pains mean that we are about to graduate to a new level.  Remember that feeling of graduating from school?  We were scared, excited and nervous about what the real world would be like?  And then once we entered into that next phase, we found new things to love about it.  Allow fear to be an indicator for you that you are on the path to new growth.  

Want support moving through the fear of the next step? Schedule your complimentary consultation.  

No! Not the Unsolicited Advice!

There is a time for sharing advice and there is a time to close your mouth and open your ears.  How do I know this?  I find myself in the trap of offering unsolicited advice.  In fact, sharing unsolicited advice can not only hurt you, it can delay the growth and progress of your closest loved ones, the ones you intend to support.  When you believe in the gifts of others, the significance of their journey, in who they are, you refrain from giving the advice that they have not asked for.  When you allow yourself to simply be present with them and listen, you allow them to experience their journey, to shine, to learn the lessons that are for them to experience.  WAKE up to the hero that resides in you, trusting that the same hero resides within your loved one.  When you are present and listening, you demonstrate a belief in others and an appreciation for who they are, exactly as they are.  Release the desire to save, fix or rescue them, recognizing the truth that he is the one who has the power to change the situation he finds herself in.  Zip it when you feel inclined to interject or share unsolicited advice.  Choose to no longer undermine who he  is and the powerful wisdom he has to arrive at the answers that are right for him. Unsolicited advice can make us feel incompetent.  Zip the lip. Learn to listen.  Ask questions and remain curious.  Let go of the idea that you have anyone's answers but your own.  The truth that I live by is that YOU are the only one who has your answers.  Remain available should others find themselves in need of support to discover those internal answers.  Ask for permission, "Can I share what has helped me in a similar situation?"  Liberate yourself from feeling like you have to rescue anyone other than yourself.  YOU are your greatest hero.  Gift others with the opportunity to discover the hero within.  Perhaps somewhere in the listening, you'll discover something in the moment that is profound for you.