Is your GPS lying to you?

Recently, while on a run, I noticed that the GPS on my running application was not working.  How do I know it wasn't working?  My running app talks to me, giving me stats on my run, "Time: 5 minutes.  Distance 0.5 miles.  Average pace: 10 min/mile."  On this particular day, my app said, "Time: 60 minutes.  Distance 0.0 miles.  Average pace: 0.0 min/mile."  I heard that and got a little grumpy, as if i could argue or blame the voice that was telling me a lie.  The truth is, I KNEW I had run farther than 0.0 miles.  I had been running for 60 minutes.  Clearly, my running application was not giving me accurate information.   

This experience made me start wondering, where else do I tune into inaccurate information, but expect it to guide me?  Do I do this with friends?  Family?  My mother?  Oh, goodness, my mother!  How often do I turn to outside sources, asking for feedback, guidance, support, and some sort of validation for how far I've come?  The truth is, NO ONE knows how far I've traveled better than I do.  Here are a few tips on how to tune into your own wisdom and stop the madness of listening to trusted devices that may be giving you inaccurate information:

1. If the information you are receiving leaves you feeling negative emotion ask yourself, is there truth in what I am hearing, or is this an inaccurate reading coming from what I have been expecting to be a trusted device? 

2. Remove the temptation to take words personally, even if they feel rather pointed.  This allows you to be open and receptive, without becoming defensive.  When you're open and receptive, you can better hear the constructive criticism, without becoming emotionally charged by it and therefore dismissing the gifts that may reside in the support being shared. 

3. SAY, THANK YOU!  "Thank you for your feedback, I'll sit with it and use this information if I see it fitting." 

3. Flip it!  If the words leave you feeling heavy or negative emotion, ask yourself, "What is it that I am to take from this situation?  Is there a chance that what is being shared has truth to it?  What can I do to get closer to the image that I have for myself?" 

4. Let it slide.  As I ran that morning, my initial knee jerk reaction was to get upset and blame my gps for being wrong.  Once I realized that it wasn't an attack on me or my running ability, but instead a simple error, I was able to let it slide and move on, without another thought to the discomfort of anger and blame.  

Make a list of  "Trusted Devices" that you listen to.  Make a list of ways you're supporting yourself to listen to your own internal GPS.  Notice which trusted divides work best for you. 

 

No! Not the Unsolicited Advice!

There is a time for sharing advice and there is a time to close your mouth and open your ears.  How do I know this?  I find myself in the trap of offering unsolicited advice.  In fact, sharing unsolicited advice can not only hurt you, it can delay the growth and progress of your closest loved ones, the ones you intend to support.  When you believe in the gifts of others, the significance of their journey, in who they are, you refrain from giving the advice that they have not asked for.  When you allow yourself to simply be present with them and listen, you allow them to experience their journey, to shine, to learn the lessons that are for them to experience.  WAKE up to the hero that resides in you, trusting that the same hero resides within your loved one.  When you are present and listening, you demonstrate a belief in others and an appreciation for who they are, exactly as they are.  Release the desire to save, fix or rescue them, recognizing the truth that he is the one who has the power to change the situation he finds herself in.  Zip it when you feel inclined to interject or share unsolicited advice.  Choose to no longer undermine who he  is and the powerful wisdom he has to arrive at the answers that are right for him. Unsolicited advice can make us feel incompetent.  Zip the lip. Learn to listen.  Ask questions and remain curious.  Let go of the idea that you have anyone's answers but your own.  The truth that I live by is that YOU are the only one who has your answers.  Remain available should others find themselves in need of support to discover those internal answers.  Ask for permission, "Can I share what has helped me in a similar situation?"  Liberate yourself from feeling like you have to rescue anyone other than yourself.  YOU are your greatest hero.  Gift others with the opportunity to discover the hero within.  Perhaps somewhere in the listening, you'll discover something in the moment that is profound for you.