Fear; The Indicator of Growth

A lot of exciting things are happening with Stellar Evolution Coaching!  I am noticing that as the business evolves, my fears are having the opportunity to be tested.  The coolest part of the process of growth is that the fears are usually NEVER as big in reality as they are in my mind.  Do you have the same experience?    Sometimes I even notice my fears holding me back.  As I was running last week, I could feel myself holding back with the thought, "I have to hold back, I don't want to over do it.  What if I can't keep this momentum?  What if I run out of breath?  What if I collapse in exhaustion?"  The reality is, what if any one of those fears did actually come to fruition?  The truth is, if I feel out of breath, overwhelmed, or exhausted, I will automatically slow down.  My body knows what I need and I trust that I am not going to allow myself to collapse in exhaustion from a light jog.  The key word?  Trust.  If fear is showing up, it is an indication that growth is around the corner.  Growing pains mean that we are about to graduate to a new level.  Remember that feeling of graduating from school?  We were scared, excited and nervous about what the real world would be like?  And then once we entered into that next phase, we found new things to love about it.  Allow fear to be an indicator for you that you are on the path to new growth.  

Want support moving through the fear of the next step? Schedule your complimentary consultation.  

Weather: Beyond the Predictions

When I am planning an outdoor activity, I find myself tuning into the weather forecast.  Recently, the meteorologist predicted heavy storms for "most of the day".  When I woke, there were clouds, but no sign of a storm.  I went about my day as if I hadn't heard the prediction.  The storm never came.  I enjoyed the outdoors for the entire day.  It made me wonder, how many times do I limit my activity because of what might happen?  Sure, there are times when the prediction is correct.  There are also times when it is far from accurate, yet I've already made a choice based on the fear of what might be.  This is an opportunity for me to let go of the fear, go with the flow, and trust my own intuition.  I release the need for outside influences to determine my next move and instead allow outside influences to support me to make the decision that is best for me.  Rain or shine, all will be fine, so long as I let go of my own fears and expectations.  In fact, sometimes the rain can be more enjoyable and exciting than the heat of the sun.  Here's to living fully, in the moment and releasing the chatter that might hold us back.

Beyond Excuses; Creating the Life You Desire

Have you ever caught someone saying that they want something, only to follow with a reason why they cannot receive that which they desire?  "I really want to change my job/life/relationship, but I cannot because of (insert excuse).  Have you ever offered to fix someone's excuse, believing the truth in it, only to realize that the excuse offered was just that, an excuse to get out doing the work required to change it?  Can you think of a time when you were good at making excuses?  What are your greatest and most dominant excuses?  I have a list of them myself.  I catch myself saying, "I am a stay-at-home-mom. I cannot make time for myself.  I don't have the luxury of giving to myself, my business, my needs."  The only truth in that statement is, "I am a stay-at-home-mom."  We all have the same 24 hours in a day.  We each make choices about how we choose to spend the valuable resource of our time and money.  I am in the business of being with individuals as they bring about powerful and lasting change in life.  I get to be with clients as they move through the space of resistance.

What stops us from making big changes?  What keeps me making excuses?  The same things that keep you from making changes;

1. Dissuasion.  I tell myself that life is fine the way that it is, I don't really need to be doing anything differently.  Asking for more is greedy.  There are a number of things I tell myself that lead me away from seeking what it is that I deeply desire.  What do you find yourself saying when you know that a change is calling?
2. Distraction.  I could have a master's degree in distraction.  There are times when I can be in the flow of change and suddenly I'll find myself being attracted to the drama of life.  Other common distractions:  "I'll put myself on the dating market as soon as I lose weight."  "I'll invest in myself as soon as I get the raise that I've been wanting."   What is it that you tell yourself when you are on the way to creating positive change for  yourself?
3.  Fear.  Fear is the last ditch effort I make to self sabotage when moving toward change.  Fear can take over as I listen to the little voice inside screaming at me, "Who do you think you are?  Do you really think this change will amount to anything?  Do you really think you'll be able to pull that off?  Give it up, you can't make this last."  What is your fear yelling at you?  When have you noticed fear keeping you from moving toward the life of your dreams?

The dissuasion, distraction and fear are not the truth of who you are and what life has in store for you.  As you calm the voices of dissuasion, distraction and fear, you will come out of this space stronger, more confident and feeling more connected to your authentic power.

So how do you do it? Be gentle with yourself.  Be observer.  Simply notice and give attention to the voice within.  When you notice the voice, where you are in your process, you allow yourself the gift of creating clarity.  With that clarity and new awareness, you now have the ability to choose.  You can choose your thought and your actions.  What is next?  What will support you to move through it?  Contact a friend, ask for support, JUST DO IT!  You already know the results of NOT doing it.  Allow yourself the gift of receiving the benefits of breaking through the barrier of fear, distraction and dissuasion.


                                       

Kicking the Fear Habit

When was the last time you been faced with a situation where you felt yourself being challenged to keep moving through to the next step? As I sat down to the computer this morning, I had the intention of writing a press release. Instead, I’m noticing my desire to do anything apart from writing a press release. The house needs to be straightened, I should reach out to that friend in need, e-mails need to be tended to, invoices need to be updated, I have a sudden urge to EAT (yes, I just emptied the remainder of the ice cream in my freezer), the self-sabotaging list grows longer by the minute. I notice that the closer I get to writing this press release that I keep saying that I want to write, the more I feel the desire to give my attention to something else. Internally, I feel my heart racing, my anxiety levels increasing and my body is experiencing an overal tightening. The fear is nearly overwhelming. So, now what? I access my tools:
1. Deepen awareness I get clear about what is happening inside. In this instance, I know that I don’t really want to write a press release. I’m telling myself that I should or that I have to.

2. Identify with clarity With the awareness that I don’t really want to be writing a press release, I move to a place of identifying what it is that I do want, which is to bring my skills and talents as a coach to a broader audience. I’ve told myself that writing a press release and having a published article is that next step. Letting go of that idea that a press release has to be that next step and instead welcoming new ideas.

3. Release judgement The next step for me is to let go of the thoughts of judgement that hold me back from moving forward. Judgement is another excuse to stay put.

4. Reframe thoughts Somewhere along the way I told myself that I had to do this on my own, that it was going to be “hard”. I let go of the idea that it will be hard. I release the idea that I have to do this perfectly or that I have to do it all on my own. When I notice these limiting and sabotaging thoughts, I have the ability to reframe them.

5. Be Gentle with Self while in the processing stage As I reach for the ice cream, I refrain from negative self chatter, which only serves to further distract me from the task before me. I gift myself with the ability to be gentle with myself in the process, knowing that eventually, I’ll crawl my way to the next step, knowing that even with the ice cream polished off, the dishes done and the kitchen shelves rearranged, it is NEVER too late to begin again. The task I have at hand will be there when I am ready to pick it up.

6. Ask for & receive support I release the idea that this has to be all me. I welcome the energy of a fresh outlook, the support of an objective ear, and the wisdom of someone who has greater skills in the area that I feel I have.

7. Move through it and DO IT!

Every task has to start somewhere. I make a list of ways I can start NOW, with what I have, with where I am. I start with the smallest things I can do and I do this without limitation. I let go of the idea that I have to have all of the pieces in place and I do what I can with what I have, trusting that it will eventually come together. Waiting for ALL of the pieces to be in place is another way that I allow myself to stall the process and remain stuck. I let go of being stuck and I move through it. What tools do you have on your list? How do you support yourself to advance to the next level? Like what you're reading? Come "Like" Stellar Evolution Coaching on Facebook. Schedule your very own complimentary consultation with Star Staubach.