No! Not the Unsolicited Advice!

There is a time for sharing advice and there is a time to close your mouth and open your ears.  How do I know this?  I find myself in the trap of offering unsolicited advice.  In fact, sharing unsolicited advice can not only hurt you, it can delay the growth and progress of your closest loved ones, the ones you intend to support.  When you believe in the gifts of others, the significance of their journey, in who they are, you refrain from giving the advice that they have not asked for.  When you allow yourself to simply be present with them and listen, you allow them to experience their journey, to shine, to learn the lessons that are for them to experience.  WAKE up to the hero that resides in you, trusting that the same hero resides within your loved one.  When you are present and listening, you demonstrate a belief in others and an appreciation for who they are, exactly as they are.  Release the desire to save, fix or rescue them, recognizing the truth that he is the one who has the power to change the situation he finds herself in.  Zip it when you feel inclined to interject or share unsolicited advice.  Choose to no longer undermine who he  is and the powerful wisdom he has to arrive at the answers that are right for him. Unsolicited advice can make us feel incompetent.  Zip the lip. Learn to listen.  Ask questions and remain curious.  Let go of the idea that you have anyone's answers but your own.  The truth that I live by is that YOU are the only one who has your answers.  Remain available should others find themselves in need of support to discover those internal answers.  Ask for permission, "Can I share what has helped me in a similar situation?"  Liberate yourself from feeling like you have to rescue anyone other than yourself.  YOU are your greatest hero.  Gift others with the opportunity to discover the hero within.  Perhaps somewhere in the listening, you'll discover something in the moment that is profound for you.

Take Time to Connect

Studies show that isolating animals, produces significant stress.  We see the same results for our species.  We even use isolation as a form of punishment.  This holiday season, as our stressors can be at an all time high, make a point to reach out to others for a sense of connection.  Here is a list of ways you can reach out for connection: 

1. Invite a group of friends to go Carolling at a local nursing home
2. Attend a Holiday Concert
3. Plan a potluck with friends/family
4. Buy a stranger a cup of coffee
5. Committ to doing a Random Act of Kindness 1x/week (or more)
6. Volunteer at a local shelter
7. Do yardwork for your neighbor
8. Take a meal to a family in need
9. Choose to perform a random act of compassion
10. write a letter to someone 
11. Call a friend to share how much they mean to you 
12. Invite friends over for a dance party
13. Invite family/friends to play games
14. Join an indoor sports league 
15. Register to take a class/book study

Share with me! Let me know how you connect with others and the benefits you receive from reaching out to others. Join the conversation on Twitter with #StellarConnection 

The Benefits of Risk Taking

Have you ever found yourself at the edge of a decision, uncertain of what would be in store for you around the corner?  When I started Watch Me Grow Radio, I was clear about one thing, it was NOT about growing a business, it was from the beginning and still is about growing ME! In the meantime, it is blessing more than 21,000 listeners who have tuned in!  The experience has been nothing short of amazing!  I get to have a weekly one-on-one with talented, internationally known and incredibly wise guests.  It has changed my life in many ways.  Here are a few lessons I've learned from jumping off of the edge of fear:   Bold Courage!  When we take the risk to try something new, we increase the likelihood that we'll continue trying new things.   Increased Opportunity!  As you continue to step outside of your comfort zone, you open yourself up to new opportunities, new possibilities and new ways to solve problems. Greater opportunity for a best possible solution!  As you continue to release the fear and allow yourself to take risks, you open up to a variety of solutions.  By expanding the number of solutions, you increase your chances of finding the one that will work best for you!  Increased Creativity!  Risk taking helps you to feel confident to explore the hidden talents that you otherwise might overlook or keep to yourself.  The more you exercise these skills, the more you fine tune them, which leads to greater results Risk Motivates!  When you invest in yourself, with your time, money and resources, you increase your desire for success. New Awareness/Reality!  When you take risks and kick fear to the curb, you create a new reality in your head.  You let go of the notion that you cannot do it.  By moving through the space of fear gives you the reality check you needed to see that he fear you create in your head is much worse than the truth of reality!   As you kick down the door of fear/doubt, you welcome a new reality; a reality of belief in yourself.  A reality that YOU CAN DO THIS!  As you prove to yourself that you can more beyond this fear, you become a living inspiration to others!   I don't know of a single successful person who was unable to take risks.  Let yourself soar, take that risk that you've been avoiding!

Face to Face with Excuses

During my most recent radio show with Martha Creek, I felt myself squirming in my seat as I came face to face with my excuses.  Yes!  I have excuses too!  In fact, even as I type this, I can feel the squirming again.  It brings me to this thought; When I come face to face with my excuses, I am left with a choice. Do I continue to feed the excuse or do I move beyond it with clarity, courage and determination?  Below are some steps to support you to not only come face to face with your excuse, but to move beyond it, so that you can experience the calm that comes from releasing it! 

• Discern the Truth.  If whatever you are telling yourself in your head keeps you from doing, living and feeling free to choose, it is an excuse.  
• See it for what it is, an excuse! Notice where it limits you:  Become clear that it IS limiting you.  It is limiting what you do, how you show up in the world and who you surround yourself with. 
• Feel the sensation of releasing it, as you break free from the excuse.  Allow yourself a moment to think about the why/how you are unable to be doing what you want.  Now take a deep breath and allow yourself to experience what it would feel like to be free of that thought.  What would it feel like in your body to be free of the barrier that your excuse provides for you?  Become aware of what it would feel like to break free from the limiting chatter that surrounds your excuse.
•  Take the step to Move Beyond It! Make a list of ways you've already overcome other excuses.  List times you surprised yourself with doing a little extra here and there.  Make a list of ways you can support yourself to take the next step.  AND then, JUST DO IT!  Take the step, surprise yourself!  

Itty Bitty Sh!#y Committee

Spoiler alert!  My Itty Bitty Sh!#y Committee was activated!  You know the one; the voices that start feeding you full of negativity.  I lost my purse and included in it's contents were credit cards, house key, car keys, and my cell phone.  The thought of someone having my ID, keys to my home and credit cards made my stomach drop and a lump form in my throat.  And then I told myself that it would all work out. I didn't give up.  I was actively working on the return of the contents while consciously choosing to bring my mind back to the possibility of it's return.  I would't surrender to the doubt and fear.  I appreciate that I get to practice what I preach.  Jill Bolte Taylor, author of My Stroke of Insight talks about the left hemisphere in the brain and how it relates to the negative story in the mind.  She writes, "In my opinion, making the decision that internal verbal abuse is not acceptable behavior, is the first step toward finding deep inner peace."   What kinds of events make your Itty Bitty Sh!#y Committee active?  What best supports you to quiet it when it starts?  If your committee is overactive, you have the right to choose to deactivate it!  You can choose to quiet it, tune into a different frequency, allow your mind to open up to experience your situation in a different way!  This takes practice.  Just as you wouldn't expect your newly walking toddler to walk up Mt. Everst, gift yourself with the same grace and patience.  Exercise the part of your brain that is seeking to tune into a different frequency.  Practice, practice, practice and notice your Itty Bitty Sh!#y Committee getting quieter!

Run Free

"I am doing it!  I am not a runner and I am running! Whoo hoo!"  The woman at the bus stop must have thought I was crazy as I ran past her yelling with excitement.  It was the first time I had run in years!  I could not believe that I was doing it.  I could not believe the feeling of euphoria that came over me as I felt my body willingly take one step at a time.   The running felt so good that I got up early the next morning to run again.  As I started out, I could feel myself holding back.  It made me curious, what was I holding back for?  As soon as I asked the question, my head flooded with answers; "Hold back, so you can last the length of the run.  Hold back, so you do not get yourself worn out.  Hold back, because you cannot keep this pace up."  As soon as those thoughts crossed my mind, I knew what I had to do.  I told my body that I would listen to it and that I didn't need to listen to the chatter of self-doubt that was being created in my head.  I promised my body that I would stop, slow down or allow a walking break if needed.  With that permission, I opened myself up to let the lead out!  That day, I took 4 minutes off of my 2 mile run.  This experience made me want to become aware of other areas where I had been holding myself back.  Today, I declare, I am no longer willing to hold myself back!  Where are you currently holding yourself back?  What does it look like for you to trust yourself and run free?

Manifesting Misconceptions

While studying Life Coaching at Invite Change, I recall snickering through one particular class.  Why snicker?  One simple word, "Probe".  As my classmate and I were studying, "Manifestation", we decided to put it to the test.  What did we choose to manifest?  "Probe".  To be exact, we wanted our lead instructor to use the word at least once in class.  Ok, so maybe not such a huge stretch.  To our amazement, she used that word 5-7 times that day. Each time, we squealed with delight.  Was it magic, did we make that word come from our instructor's mouth?  Well, not quite. What we did do, is bring it to our awareness for the day.  Had we not held the vision for the word probe to be spoken, it would have come and gone and we may have never even noticed.  The word was there and the opportunity for the word to be spoken was always there, whether we held the vision for it or not.  The possibility exists.  It always does.  Know the truth, if you can vision it, it is possible.
Here is a simple equation to support you to give your vision focus and intention.

Intention + Attention = Manifestation

Intention -
What are you seeking from the result of your goal?  If it is a red Ferrari that you are seeking to manifest, be clear about your intention for that vehicle.  Will it bring you a sense of freedom?  A sense of sex appeal, accomplishment, or wealth?  Become clear about what your intention is with your goal.

Attention -
Focus your attention (thoughts and actions) toward what you are seeking.  Release any thoughts that detract from you obtaining your set goal.

Manifestation -
Congratulations, you've turned your vision into reality.

What opportunities are you willing to hold in your consciousness today?  Plant a seed and watch it take sprout.