Who am I to stand in the way of MY Dream?

I have a confession to make.  I've allowed myself to be held back, because of my own fears.  This week, as I came face-to-face with those fears of taking myself to MY next level, I thought of you.  I thought of the men and women who are out there feeling stuck by their situation, stuck in a job they do not love, circumstances that are leaving them feeling drained and disconnected.  

If we allow ourselves to be in this space too long, we develop a growing list that holds us back from taking the next step.  I had the thought, "Who am I to let my fears stand in the way of being of GREATER service?"  And so it was in that moment that I surrendered.

Gift yourself with a belief in YOU and what you want to see for yourself. The most genius minds and the most successful people around us had to, at one time, believe in themselves enough to take that step.  

Here are a few ways that you can start demonstrating YOUR belief in yourself.
 

Take the next step by:

• Making a PUBLIC statement to friends, family, and Social Media (tag Ignite Radiance), about your GOAL. Making it public helps you to hold YOURSELF accountable.  We all need that.  I repeat - WE ALL NEED THAT! 

• Making the investment.  It may mean purchasing supplies you've been needing, new guitar strings, art supplies, or investing in partnering with someone who can support you to YOUR next level (a coach, business consultant, web designer, etc.).  THIS may be one of the most challenging tasks, since MANY of us are limited by finances.  This can lead into an entirely different list. 

• Setting aside time to TAKE that next step.  Set aside WEEKLY time to dedicate yourself to the goal you say you want.  For YEARS I didn't think I had the time.  I thought I was confined to my situation.  

• Seeing yourself living that goal.  Visualize it.  Journal about it.  What does life look like for you when you've accomplished this goal.  See yourself accomplishing it.  Visualization has been proven to be an successful  strategy for improving a skill and reaching a goal.  

• JUST DOING IT!  You've set aside the time, now make it happen.  Do not let other "tasks" get in the way. Otherwise, we'll always find an excuse to keep avoiding what we KNOW we want.  In the process of avoiding it, we're keeping ourselves stuck. 

• Get clear about the BIGGER picture.  Be clear about how YOUR living this dream and accomplishing your goal is a service to others.  Deep down, we all have a desire to share our gifts with others.  

• Ask for a help.  Ask for miracles.  Ask for Divine guidance.  Ask for support.  Do not EVER think that you have to do this alone.  YOU are not alone.  Once you take the step, doors will open for you.

If you want support in IGNITING your life, joy, career, relationship, or success, contact Aliveness Coach Star Staubach of Ignite Radiance!

What to do about those PESKY Autopilot Behaviors

Where do autopilot behaviors come from and how do we change them? 

Autopilot behaviors are coming from the unconscious mind.  Autopilot can be a HEALTHY thing and in fact, you NEED your body to be on autopilot for certain situations; breathing, pumping blood through the body, etc.  You do not have to think about telling your body to do these things, you simply get it done without a second thought!  However, operating from an unconscious mind can also create great stress, without your even knowing what is going on.  As an example, say you are triggered by your co-worker saying, "Oh, you're so crazy."  Without self-awareness and support in seeing that you have an unconscious "button" around secretly thinking that you are crazy, then you may respond negatively to his innocent comment.  The stress comes from the in congruent message you hear from the unconscious mind vs the innocence of the reality.  When you operate on this level, others call you irrational, illogical, and out of character.  When you hear that kind of description of yourself, you get stressed, "That is not who I REALLY am.  He has no idea who I am.  He doesn't even know me."  Too often when you are unconsciously going through the motions and allowing your hidden buttons to be pushed, you are unaware of the way that they are hindering situations and relationships, because you have not yet identified that they are there!  As a result, you blame the other person and often create unnecessary distance and stress. 

In order to change a behavior that is on autopilot, for example, refraining from reacting when being triggered by someone sharing feedback (negative or positive), you’re actually being required to change the neural pathways in your brain that are driving you to think that you NEED to react in a certain way, defensively, sharply, etc. How do you CHANGE and create NEW neural pathways in your brain? Here are a few tips: 

1. Become self-aware.

The first step in reducing the stress created by this situation is becoming aware of the stress. Sometimes you feel the anxiety, but are unaware of the source.  It is your job to become self-aware enough to recognize the stress and then be curious about what the resource is. BE CURIOUS, resist being a judge or forcing it.  Working with a coach, counselor, or other health professional to identify your triggers can be extremely helpful in releasing them. 

    2. Take BABY steps toward the goal that you want.

In the case of responding in a more constructive way to feedback, you might first practice breathing while you listen to the person talk.  Give yourself a mantra to state, “I’m listening, but I get to decide what to do with this information.  I do not have to react”.  Perhaps you add one sentence per week as you create this new habit.  With each step that you build upon, until the point of feeling "calm" about it, you are creating a new pathway of response in your brain. 

    3. Move!

When wanting to retain new information, increase the chance for creative solutions, and open yourself to new opportunities, give your body the experience of MOVEMENT! Movement of the body for 30+ minutes, producing oxygenated blood to the brain, will not only open up OLD neural pathways, it will create NEW ones! In creating new neural pathways, it becomes easier to retain information, retrieve information and create new habits.  

    4. Ask for support.

Speak up about your goals and intentions.  Friends and family members can be an excellent way to help keep you accountable. Speaking, writing, and publicly claiming your goals not only creates an environment for accountability, it also supports you to RECEIVE the support that is needed to keep going with this opportunity to create a new habit.  Too often, I see people hiding behind their goals, not wanting to share them or allow them to be public, for fear of failure (that is another post).  Do not let the fear get to you, it only keeps you where you are.  Put yourself in the driver’s seat, claim what you want to change and then start taking the steps to do it. 

Star Staubach is an ALIVENESS coach, supporting her clients to RECEIVE the life they say that they want and in most cases even BEYOND what they’ve come for.  Star is passionate about living fully, having a love affair with life and supporting others to do the same! For your free 10 tips to Ignite Your Inner and Outer Radiance, visit Ignite Radiance at http://www.stellarevolutioncoaching.com.
If this article has been helpful, please comment and share!  Star loves hearing your feedback! 

Is Your Job Negatively Impacting Your Life?

I have had several clients come to me with the wish that they had more time with family and less time having to attend to work/business.  Mickey Rooney said, "Heroes aren't born, they're cornered."  It often takes us being miserably cornered before we make a move. Signs that you are feeling stuck in your job/career: 

1. You are not feeling fulfilled, nor do you have the time and/or motivation to do the things that nourish you. You're distracted by the situation of your work environment.  

2. You feel a LOT of "shoulds".  Example: You should stay in this job because you are afraid to take a pay cut by going elsewhere.  You should stay because finding another workplace, with these perks and at this pay scale is DIFFICULT.  When you're telling yourself that you are STUCK and you HAVE to stay, that is a RED flag that something needs to change.  

3.  You're feeling angry and resentful when you wake up in the morning.  It is also difficult for you to drift off to sleep at night.  In the darkness of the night, the stress of your situation keeps you up. You're not going to bed feeling nourished by your day.  

4. You're feeling stressed and anxious on your down time.  You find it difficult to relax, especially on Sundays.  Why?  You're too worried about what you have to go back to during the week.  The energy drain of what you're putting up with is leaving you zapped of motivation and creativity. 

5. At work, you're becoming complacent.  You may still be on top of all of your assignments, but you're only doing the bare minimum and even that takes EVERY ounce of your effort.  While at work, you're looking for any/every opportunity to escape; frequent smoke breaks, bathroom breaks, scrolling through the internet, and an increase of time spent on social media.

6. Once home, you're not likely to feel motivated, and even though you try not to bring the office home with you, it is occupying your mind.  The space it takes up in your head leaves you feeling less than present with your spouse and the household chores.  You feel so zapped of energy from work that you seek ways to escape at home.  Ultimately, you struggle to feel relaxed, unless on an extended vacation. Even then, it may take you 2-3 days on vacation before you fully allow yourself to unwind.  

7. When you're honest with yourself, every aspect of your life is being influenced by your situation at work.  You have less time with friends/family.  

8. You feel a slight disconnect with your spouse, and you may be feeling inadequate that you are unable to "make your job work".  You feel a sense of obligation to your spouse.  You want to please, provide, and be a source of good to your household.  You not feeling nourished at work may leave you feeling like you're failing in this category, which can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, anger, resentment, and displaced blame.  

Life doesn't have to be this way! There are ways to overcome this challenge so that you can experience something new! 

If you are not serving this job and it is not serving you, let it go to someone else who WILL serve it.  As you let it go, you allow yourself to move onto something else that is more nourishing for you, your relationships and your household.  

Want support in waking up to LOVING your life's work? I'd be honored!  Schedule your complimentary info session today!  Schedule now by clicking -- HERE!