Oh well, that is just the way I am....

"I cannot help it, that is just the way I am."  Either you've said it yourself, or you've heard someone else say it.  It is usually an attempt to justify a behavior such as a sharp tongue or blunt personality.  YES, each of us has a different personality AND each of us has a unique opportunity to grow.  For some, our growth is in allowing ourselves to be still and do less.  For others the growth is pushing ourselves to do more and take risks in allowing our voices to be heard.  What is your go to excuse?  What do you notice you telling yourself or others, "Oh, that is just the way I am..."  What is mine?  I find myself over and over making the excuse that I cannot get enough sleep.  The truth is, I CAN get sleep.  I choose to stay up late, usually doing nothing that is requiring my immediate attention.  I find myself making excuses, "But I just want some down time from the children."  How much more down could sleeping be?  Seriously?  Digging our heals in and declaring that we cannot change is a way of avoiding the discomfort of doing something new.  Notice the discomfort and know that it is speaking to you, calling you to attend to an area you would otherwise avoid.  Sit with the challenge.  The pain of avoiding is often far greater than the space of discomfort.  In that discomfort is your growth, your opportunity to see a different perspective, your opportunity to release the pain of avoiding.  I believe in you.  I believe in your ability to get through the growing pains and move to the other side, experiencing the benefits of your fresh outlook and freedom.

Fear; The Indicator of Growth

A lot of exciting things are happening with Stellar Evolution Coaching!  I am noticing that as the business evolves, my fears are having the opportunity to be tested.  The coolest part of the process of growth is that the fears are usually NEVER as big in reality as they are in my mind.  Do you have the same experience?    Sometimes I even notice my fears holding me back.  As I was running last week, I could feel myself holding back with the thought, "I have to hold back, I don't want to over do it.  What if I can't keep this momentum?  What if I run out of breath?  What if I collapse in exhaustion?"  The reality is, what if any one of those fears did actually come to fruition?  The truth is, if I feel out of breath, overwhelmed, or exhausted, I will automatically slow down.  My body knows what I need and I trust that I am not going to allow myself to collapse in exhaustion from a light jog.  The key word?  Trust.  If fear is showing up, it is an indication that growth is around the corner.  Growing pains mean that we are about to graduate to a new level.  Remember that feeling of graduating from school?  We were scared, excited and nervous about what the real world would be like?  And then once we entered into that next phase, we found new things to love about it.  Allow fear to be an indicator for you that you are on the path to new growth.  

Want support moving through the fear of the next step? Schedule your complimentary consultation.  

The Healthy Stress of Intimacy

Each month I delay a little longer in sending out my newsletter.  I can procrastinate with the best of them.  All through my studies in college, I noticed myself putting off assignments and projects until the last minute.  I could see the method in my madness, but I didn't know that there was actual science to support what I knew was true for me.  I was recently introduced to the work of Dr. John Ratey, author of Spark; The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain.  In his book, Dr. Ratey discusses the release of epinephrine in the brain when we experience stress.  The brain perceived all of the following situations as stress; social/emotional challenges, job-related stress, exercise, healthy intercourse, AND the stress of waiting until the last minute to complete a task.  The flight of fight response of the amygdala ("reptilian brain") is triggered.  The fight of flight response of the amygdala served us, and even saved our lives when we, as a species, were being threatened by dangerous animals.  Now, our bodies still prepare for the fight or flight when we experience stress.  In preparing our bodies for that response, the epinephrine and the triggering of the amygdala support the brain to make quick decisions, think on our feet and have a more clear focus.  After reading the science behind it, my procrastination made much more sense to me.  As I suspected, in waiting until the last minute, I was able to complete the task and feel relatively clear about my direction and concentrated focus.  However, had I created healthy stress along the way through exercise and/or healthy intercourse, I could have avoided the pain produced by the procrastination.   If you or someone you know is addicted to the unhealthy stress, know that it is not the stress that you seek, but instead the rush of epinephrine.  Try producing that same rush through healthy sex or exercise and see what kind of results you get in your ability to complete tasks.  Share your comments and results here!  I love to hear what it looks like in your life!