Releasing Unwanted Triggers; Part 1

Do you ever have moments of being triggered by your past, and either in the moment or afterward, you experience regret, shame, or embarrassment?  Chances are, when you are triggered, you pass on that residue to people who were NOT the source of your pain, anger and feelings of sadness.  If you're walking away from an interaction with guilt, shame, or a bad feeling about the exchange, chances are that the pain of the past has been bottled up and is now being directed at someone who is convenient to give it to.

Why post this now, in the middle of the holiday season? With the holidays comes added stress; end of the year evaluations, reports, exams, holiday shopping, anxiety over gift giving, added pressures of parties, social gatherings, stress of finances, travel, and familial expectations, just to name a few. When stress levels are high, it is easy for suppressed emotion to come to the surface.  THIS is the perfect time of the year to focus on unwanted triggers.

If your current state of upset was not all brought on by current circumstances, where did it originate, why is it surfacing now, and what do you do about it?

In this article, I will focus on answering your question of, "Where did it come from?"  In order to find the source of your pain, I want you to first take a deep breath. As you breath with me, release the self-blame, shame, and guilt you may be feeling for the emotions that you have. Harboring judgement about your triggers hinders you from releasing them AND it prevents you from learning in the moment.  (Tweet that)

As you continue to focus on the breathing and allow yourself to take deep, centering, and slightly controlled breaths, force the air from your lungs, purging all of the toxic, stale air that is kept down with any stress, worry, or anxiety that you're experiencing in the day.  It helps to make a sound as you release the breath.  The sound supports you in releasing that trapped air, bringing fresh oxygen to the body.

Once you've cleared your energy with breathing, ask yourself to identify what trigger is being brought up. And then, ask yourself the first time you experienced that emotion. It may help if you close your eyes and allow yourself to visualize the source of your trigger. What are the hurts that reside in your past?  Bringing old pain and anger to the present moment will help you to identify the source of where your trigger is coming from.

Throughout the week, continue this exercise on a regular basis.  It is extremely important for you to allow the experiences of your past to surface while remaining an observer, and not to judge.  While remaining in the observer role, journal, move your body, exercise, drink plenty of water (supporting your body to release the toxins of the emotions being released), eat as many healthy, raw foods as possible, and take notes about your experience. Notice the memories that trigger you the most. Again, this is not a space of judging and re-attaching to the emotion, but instead simply noticing the reality of it. Become aware of being triggered by these past sources of pain. This present-day trigger is an indicator that the emotion of the event is still alive today and is in need of being cleared.

As you process the earliest sources of your pain, continue to focus on your breathing. Practice free-flow journaling, writing unedited and without judgement for a minimum of three pages.  Connect paper to pen, as this stimulates different areas of the brain and will give you the best results for processing.  Refrain from giving it attention outside of your designated exercises. If processing with others is necessary for you during the week, be sure to do it with safe and healthy company, preferably in therapy, with a coach or a counselor.  Discussing it in an unhealthy ways of blaming, shaming, and judging (yourself or others) can jeopardize the healing release that you seek.

Giving yourself permission to identify the source of the trigger is the FIRST step in releasing it. In Part 2 of this article, I'll discuss the reasons for the unwanted and misdirected emotion showing up in your life now. Following that will be Part 3 of this blog, where I share more about what you can do in the present moment to avoid passing the pain on to present-day experiences and relationships.

Before I send you on your way to do this work, it is important that you know one more thing - - your emotion is OK.  You do not need to feel shame or judgement about it.  What happened in your past to give you a source of pain was NOT ok. It is NOT your fault that you were unable to process your emotions and your experience safely and properly at the moment of it's conception. You did what you knew how, with the tools that you had at the time. Congratulations for being READY and focused on taking charge of doing something about it TODAY.  THANK YOU for taking the time to go through this process and allowing yourself (and others) the gift of releasing your triggers from the past.  As you heal, others are healing with you.

Star Staubach is an Aliveness Coach, Radio Show Host and International Motivational Speaker, and founder of Ignite Radiance.  Star is dedicated to supporting you to release wounds of the past, lovingly holding a space for personal accountability while fully embracing the unique brilliance of each individual. Visit http://www.IgniteRadiance.com for your free mp3 Download, "5 Steps to Release the Overwhelm and Return to the Joys of Life".

"It is about the Spirit, Momma"

As I was reading The Grinch Who Stole Christmas to my 4.5 year old the other night before bed, she turned to me and said, "Momma, Christmas isn't about what we can buy in a store, Christmas is about Spirit."  When I asked her to clarify, she said that spirit felt good.  Together, we identified that the holidays are about connecting, caring, loving, sharing, giving and yes, receiving.

It got me thinking. How can we, as a family, as a society, and how can I as an entrepreneur, spread the Spirit of the season?  What can each of us be doing, without HUGE effort, without breaking the bank, that would leave someone's day a little brighter?

The myth is out there that our contribution needs to be GRAND to make a difference. I believe that it can be as simple as a smile, a compliment to a stranger, a fresh piece of fruit to the homeless person who is picking through the garbage (I've been known to run out in freezing temperatures in my bath robe, chasing after the homeless, food in hand).

This blog post, The Kindness Elves, inspired me to start a new tradition in our family.  Our elves showed up, as delivered by St. Nick. They arrived with a note of instruction to spread the Holiday Spirit by doing things that would bring cheer to others: connecting, sharing, giving, and loving.

For her first act of sharing the cheer, my daughter counted her coins and went to the store with my husband to choose a toy for a little girl in need.  In case you're wondering what a 4-year-old buys for a 5-year-old, she chose a set of kiddie nail polish.  Another day we made brownies and delivered them to the neighbors. Other ideas include making gifts, cards, and ornaments for friends and family.  What would you add to the list?

I decided to take this principle of sharing, giving, connecting, and spreading cheer and make it more personal for me. I launched December - Month of Giving, which started out at around a $750 value and doubled within hours of begin released.  Others are joining in on the joy of giving by sharing their gifts and it is beautiful to witness.

There is science to back up this GOOD feeling that we experience.  As Dr. Christine Carter shared in her recent blog post, "Happiness Tip: Give Yourself a Helper's High", helping others makes YOU feel good! As you focus on someone else, it distracts you from your problems, releases anxiety, and connects you with a sense of greater purpose.

No matter what religion, faith, or belief you practice, I believe that each of us can feel the buzz in the air during this time of year.  It is a time when we elevate love and compassion with one another. What will you do to contribute to spreading the Spirit of the Holidays?

December - a Month of GIVING

While spending time with my family over the Thanksgiving holiday, I had the opportunity to observe the madness that comes with Holiday shopping and purchasing. As we're all sitting around the dinner table, flipping through the pages of Black Friday ads, I found myself getting caught up, "I need those boots. My husband needs a new coat. I need to RUSH out and get this on SALE, and I better hurry, the sale starts in a few hours (THANKSGIVING NIGHT)!  It all seems a bit maddening for me.  Don't get me wrong, if it works for you, AWESOME!  What I know FOR SURE is that it DOES NOT work for me.  In fact, it DETRACTS from radiance!  Whenever overwhelm and anxiety are present, radiance goes out the window.

As a business owner, this madness comes with a different kind of pressure, "I SHOULD offer a LIMITED time, BIG offer, so that I can capitalize on this "opportunity" aka -CRAZINESS."  I choose not to buy into that.  Once I caught my breath and returned to MY OWN sense of reality, I realized that I didn't want to  buy or SELL anything, but instead, I wanted to GIVE!

In the spirit of GIVING through the month of December, I have created an opportunity for YOU to participate AND RECEIVE - FREE gifts!

Here are a list of the 10 gifts that you can be eligible for:

1. 21 Days of Empowered Choices - 3 to be given away!
2. 21 Day Challenge to RECEIVE! - 3
3. 1/2 hour consultation - 3
4. 2 Hour - Radiance Reboot - 1

Total value of prizes - $748!!!  

How do you become eligible?  

SHARE!  Share something simple, grand, unexpected and POST about it in the comments below! Want EXTRA opportunities to enter, stop over to Ignite Radiance on Facebook and "like" our page of inspiration!  Invite your friends to join you!

Here are a few ideas:
Purchase a coffee for the person behind you in line.
Set the intention of giving random compliments for the day.
Purchase a bag of apples or oranges and pass them out to co-workers or visitors at your office.

The magic of the holidays cannot be purchased in a store.  It comes from your heart.  It is NOT about business.  It is about connecting, sharing and spreading love.  It is in this spirit that I invite you to JOIN me on this December GIVEATHON! What are you prepared to do for this GIVEATHON??

There is NOTHING wrong with you!

I spent DECADES on/off anti-depressants, with feelings of being "broken", weight and body image issues and a DEEP pain from feeling like no matter what I achieved, it would NEVER be enough to overcome my internal pain, shame, and negative self-chatter. I spent my teen years thinking that I would never fit in. I HATED being different, and in fact, I shamed the one thing that now saves me, my uniqueness -- my inner and outer radiance. 

My name is Star, this is the name I was given at birth.  Growing up, I remember wanting to be named after Cyndi Brady of the Brady Bunch.  I wanted anything that felt normal.  My desire to fit in would take on many different forms: over-achiever, making unhealthy choices to be liked by others, and ultimately letting go of small pieces of myself, so that I wouldn't let someone else down.  I was willing to do almost anything to be loved by others.  That led to shame, blame, and seriously negative self-talk. 

Through it all, I thought something was WRONG with me -- my genetic makeup, brain chemistry, learning style, family background, and I could keep going with the list.  What I know now is that NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME.  In fact, EVERYTHING is RIGHT with me, when I learn to LOVE myself and the gifts I have come here to share.  I say the same thing to you, "THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!"  The only thing wrong is the fact that you are having such powerfully strong feelings of negative self-talk.  That mind chatter debilitates your SHINE and limits your ability to achieve true success. 

Now that life of pain feels like a distant memory, but it DOES fuel me to support YOU to move from that space and wake up to a LOVE affair with YOURSELF AND YOUR LIFE! I am deeply passionate about supporting women and teenage girls to fully EMBRACE their radiance and release the pain of playing it down. I played it down for decades - OUCH!  I tried MANY successful and UNSUCCESSFUL strategies. Are you feeling like you may be struggling from negative self-talk, self-doubt, fear, shame, and blame?  Below are a few things you can do to leave that behind and create a reality you LOVE! 

1. LOVE, value, and APPRECIATE yourself.

This starts with self-care, clear boundaries, and at times, making your needs a priority.

2. Take in feedback from others without letting it dictate YOUR choices. 

Feedback from others, especially from those you trust, is REALLY important.  If you're anything like me, up until now, you've allowed that feedback to heavily influence your choices, only to leave you blaming them when it didn't work out.  It also means that you learn to trust others more than you trust yourself.  

3. Establish HEALTHY, supportive, and THRIVING relationships with loving people.

"A rising tide raises all ships."  If you want your life to start changing, it will be important for you to be around people who are wiling to rise and bring you with them.  Studies show that if Sally is a smoker, then friends of Sally's are MUCH more likely to smoke than someone who is friends of a non-smoker.   

4. Clarify what you want.  

Allow yourself to quiet the outside chatter enough to get clear about what YOU want. You can do this through mediation, dance, quietly listening to music, yoga, journal (20 min suggested), and healthy exercise, to name a few.  Clearing the mind with these tools will help you to create a space to be able to discern between your voice and the pressure of the outside voices (which you may be internalizing). 

5. Take Personal Responsibility for you Actions.  

Allow yourself to set baby goals and start sticking to them! Start off slow, one goal/week.  Let yourself experience the success of SMALL steps!  Take ACTION and be responsible for your results!  Take a "no excuses" kind of approach.

6. Release the responsibility you feel for what others experience. 

You're a people-pleaser and you do not want to let anyone else down.  In the process of pleasing others, you often let yourself down. In doing so, you allow room for silent resentment, anger, and feelings of unworthiness.  Know that you are not responsible for what someone else experiences.  

7. Make decisions that resonate with YOUR values.  

Decisions are difficult for you to make and you'd prefer not to make them at all. In fact, making a decision when it involves the welfare of others creates great anxiety for you. Making choices on behalf of someone else feels too overwhelming for you, because you take on the responsibility for the happiness of others. 

8. Remember, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!  

The situation STINKS, you do not!  There are circumstances in life that bring us down, that does not mean that we have to stay down!  NO!!  Connect with the truth, that you are AMAZING!  You have unique gifts to share and an inner radiance that is unlike anyone else.  

Through it all, keep looking up, not behind you or below you.  Make a point of setting your eyes on someone who has already achieved this happiness and model what they are doing, spend time with them, and get clear about what you'd like to be experiencing. I BELIEVE in you, because I watch clients JUST LIKE YOU move through their own stuff with grace, ease, and tremendous appreciation for the co-creative process.  

No more excuses, I'm claiming responsibility

I'm making a pledge in the month of November to TAKE responsibility for my choices!  I'm inviting you to JOIN ME! 

Are you tired of the excuses? I am!  They're exhausting!  I get it, they are a reality.  I understand that circumstances might feel overwhelming and limiting.  Blaming others, circumstances or the situation only leaves me feeling heavy, burdened, overwhelmed and powerless.  When I take responsibility for my own actions, I feel more empowered, energized and ALIVE!  I want more of that, how about you? 

My pledge to myself and to you this month is to focus on feeling RESPONSIBLE for the way I feel in my body.  The trick for me, I'm 5 months pregnant.  Pregnancy doesn't alway make me feel like I have control of what I'm experiencing, feeling and how I look.  That said, there ARE things that I can be doing more of to feel the way that I want to be experiencing in my body.  I let go of the parts that I cannot control; the baby inside of me growing, moving organs around and shifting the shape of my body.  I AM responsible for how I feel about it and what I do for my body during the process. 

Taking personal responsibility and holding you accountable is what I do.  I'm here to hold your hand, support you to take responsibility and let go of that which may be out of your control.  Will you take this pledge with me?  Join myself and thousands of others who are showing up and allowing themselves to feel empowered, fully ALIVE and in charge of life. 

Are you wanting to have greater support during this process?  GREAT!  I'm hosting a LIVE teleconference on the #1 mistake you're making that is keeping you from making empowered choices.  I'm sharing that and POWERFUL tips for you on Tuesday, November 5. Register here to receive more details.

Star Staubach is a Aliveness Coach with Ignite Radiance. She is deeply passionate about supporting mothers, women and teen girls to fully embrace their radiance and release the pain of playing it down.  Star played it down for decades - OUCH! 

Get Your Hands off of the trigger and CONNECT!

Is your relationship with your child pushing your buttons? Feel like pushing back? Notice what happens when you do. Does it feel good when you fight back?  Maybe, temporarily. If you are anything like me and you allow yourself to be triggered by your child or someone else, you later feel like crap. I have thoughts that surface, “I didn’t know that I had that in me. How ugly!  I AM a nasty mother, just like I feared.  I need to apologize.” There are times when we thing that this “ugly” is needed, and yet, more often than not, what is needed is the exact opposite.  

Our initial reaction, when being triggered by our children is to either run away from the situation or to stand and fight it. This reaction is coming from our amygdala, the “fight or flight” portion of our brain. This area of the brain is activated when we experience stress, which includes emotional stress.  

When stress is produced in your body, messages are being sent to your brain that you are in danger. The brain is misinterpreting emotional discomfort as a PHYSICAL pain and thus the reaction is FIGHT or FLIGHT. With that misinterpretation, you are likely to REACT with behavior that will elevate the pain of the situation, rather than relieve it.  

The problem with reacting from this space is that there is no improvement for either party. When being emotionally triggered, what is needed is the exact OPPOSITE response of what might feel instinctual; fight or flight. Instead, when you infuse love and connection to the situation, you experience a drastically different dynamic. When you’re first reaction is to throw up your dukes and start fighting it out or to run and hide from the pain, you are only creating more of what you are seeking to avoid. By infusing love, compassion and connection into the scenario, you are diffusing the disconnection, hurt and blame and instead expediting your potential to get closer to where you want to be, connected to your child. 

No one WANTS to be fighting and hurting. BOTH parties want to be experiencing something other than what is happening. Are you willing to respond differently, so that you can move toward your desired outcome? Stop the chatter in your mind for a moment, you know the thoughts, “BUT she was WRONG for yelling at me first. I have a RIGHT to fight back. I don’t want to let HER win this. She needs to know that I am in charge! I want her to know that she is WRONG. I don’t want to back down and appear weak.” and any other form of negative talk that is keeping you from your desired outcome.  WHO CARES if she was wrong first? You cannot solve that by elevating the situation.  She can actually HEAR you if she is feeling safe and connected.  So, GO THERE FIRST!  Connect first.  Are you willing to do what feels uncomfortable, so that you can experience a different outcome?  When you do, not only will you grow, but your relationship will too!  

This post was written for mothers, however the techniques can be applied to ANY and ALL relationships. 

Star Staubach is a Aliveness Coach with Ignite Radiance. She is deeply passionate about supporting mothers, women and teen girls to fully embrace their radiance and release the pain of playing it down.  Star played it down for decades - OUCH! 

Who am I to stand in the way of MY Dream?

I have a confession to make.  I've allowed myself to be held back, because of my own fears.  This week, as I came face-to-face with those fears of taking myself to MY next level, I thought of you.  I thought of the men and women who are out there feeling stuck by their situation, stuck in a job they do not love, circumstances that are leaving them feeling drained and disconnected.  

If we allow ourselves to be in this space too long, we develop a growing list that holds us back from taking the next step.  I had the thought, "Who am I to let my fears stand in the way of being of GREATER service?"  And so it was in that moment that I surrendered.

Gift yourself with a belief in YOU and what you want to see for yourself. The most genius minds and the most successful people around us had to, at one time, believe in themselves enough to take that step.  

Here are a few ways that you can start demonstrating YOUR belief in yourself.
 

Take the next step by:

• Making a PUBLIC statement to friends, family, and Social Media (tag Ignite Radiance), about your GOAL. Making it public helps you to hold YOURSELF accountable.  We all need that.  I repeat - WE ALL NEED THAT! 

• Making the investment.  It may mean purchasing supplies you've been needing, new guitar strings, art supplies, or investing in partnering with someone who can support you to YOUR next level (a coach, business consultant, web designer, etc.).  THIS may be one of the most challenging tasks, since MANY of us are limited by finances.  This can lead into an entirely different list. 

• Setting aside time to TAKE that next step.  Set aside WEEKLY time to dedicate yourself to the goal you say you want.  For YEARS I didn't think I had the time.  I thought I was confined to my situation.  

• Seeing yourself living that goal.  Visualize it.  Journal about it.  What does life look like for you when you've accomplished this goal.  See yourself accomplishing it.  Visualization has been proven to be an successful  strategy for improving a skill and reaching a goal.  

• JUST DOING IT!  You've set aside the time, now make it happen.  Do not let other "tasks" get in the way. Otherwise, we'll always find an excuse to keep avoiding what we KNOW we want.  In the process of avoiding it, we're keeping ourselves stuck. 

• Get clear about the BIGGER picture.  Be clear about how YOUR living this dream and accomplishing your goal is a service to others.  Deep down, we all have a desire to share our gifts with others.  

• Ask for a help.  Ask for miracles.  Ask for Divine guidance.  Ask for support.  Do not EVER think that you have to do this alone.  YOU are not alone.  Once you take the step, doors will open for you.

If you want support in IGNITING your life, joy, career, relationship, or success, contact Aliveness Coach Star Staubach of Ignite Radiance!

What to do about those PESKY Autopilot Behaviors

Where do autopilot behaviors come from and how do we change them? 

Autopilot behaviors are coming from the unconscious mind.  Autopilot can be a HEALTHY thing and in fact, you NEED your body to be on autopilot for certain situations; breathing, pumping blood through the body, etc.  You do not have to think about telling your body to do these things, you simply get it done without a second thought!  However, operating from an unconscious mind can also create great stress, without your even knowing what is going on.  As an example, say you are triggered by your co-worker saying, "Oh, you're so crazy."  Without self-awareness and support in seeing that you have an unconscious "button" around secretly thinking that you are crazy, then you may respond negatively to his innocent comment.  The stress comes from the in congruent message you hear from the unconscious mind vs the innocence of the reality.  When you operate on this level, others call you irrational, illogical, and out of character.  When you hear that kind of description of yourself, you get stressed, "That is not who I REALLY am.  He has no idea who I am.  He doesn't even know me."  Too often when you are unconsciously going through the motions and allowing your hidden buttons to be pushed, you are unaware of the way that they are hindering situations and relationships, because you have not yet identified that they are there!  As a result, you blame the other person and often create unnecessary distance and stress. 

In order to change a behavior that is on autopilot, for example, refraining from reacting when being triggered by someone sharing feedback (negative or positive), you’re actually being required to change the neural pathways in your brain that are driving you to think that you NEED to react in a certain way, defensively, sharply, etc. How do you CHANGE and create NEW neural pathways in your brain? Here are a few tips: 

1. Become self-aware.

The first step in reducing the stress created by this situation is becoming aware of the stress. Sometimes you feel the anxiety, but are unaware of the source.  It is your job to become self-aware enough to recognize the stress and then be curious about what the resource is. BE CURIOUS, resist being a judge or forcing it.  Working with a coach, counselor, or other health professional to identify your triggers can be extremely helpful in releasing them. 

    2. Take BABY steps toward the goal that you want.

In the case of responding in a more constructive way to feedback, you might first practice breathing while you listen to the person talk.  Give yourself a mantra to state, “I’m listening, but I get to decide what to do with this information.  I do not have to react”.  Perhaps you add one sentence per week as you create this new habit.  With each step that you build upon, until the point of feeling "calm" about it, you are creating a new pathway of response in your brain. 

    3. Move!

When wanting to retain new information, increase the chance for creative solutions, and open yourself to new opportunities, give your body the experience of MOVEMENT! Movement of the body for 30+ minutes, producing oxygenated blood to the brain, will not only open up OLD neural pathways, it will create NEW ones! In creating new neural pathways, it becomes easier to retain information, retrieve information and create new habits.  

    4. Ask for support.

Speak up about your goals and intentions.  Friends and family members can be an excellent way to help keep you accountable. Speaking, writing, and publicly claiming your goals not only creates an environment for accountability, it also supports you to RECEIVE the support that is needed to keep going with this opportunity to create a new habit.  Too often, I see people hiding behind their goals, not wanting to share them or allow them to be public, for fear of failure (that is another post).  Do not let the fear get to you, it only keeps you where you are.  Put yourself in the driver’s seat, claim what you want to change and then start taking the steps to do it. 

Star Staubach is an ALIVENESS coach, supporting her clients to RECEIVE the life they say that they want and in most cases even BEYOND what they’ve come for.  Star is passionate about living fully, having a love affair with life and supporting others to do the same! For your free 10 tips to Ignite Your Inner and Outer Radiance, visit Ignite Radiance at http://www.stellarevolutioncoaching.com.
If this article has been helpful, please comment and share!  Star loves hearing your feedback! 

Is Your Job Negatively Impacting Your Life?

I have had several clients come to me with the wish that they had more time with family and less time having to attend to work/business.  Mickey Rooney said, "Heroes aren't born, they're cornered."  It often takes us being miserably cornered before we make a move. Signs that you are feeling stuck in your job/career: 

1. You are not feeling fulfilled, nor do you have the time and/or motivation to do the things that nourish you. You're distracted by the situation of your work environment.  

2. You feel a LOT of "shoulds".  Example: You should stay in this job because you are afraid to take a pay cut by going elsewhere.  You should stay because finding another workplace, with these perks and at this pay scale is DIFFICULT.  When you're telling yourself that you are STUCK and you HAVE to stay, that is a RED flag that something needs to change.  

3.  You're feeling angry and resentful when you wake up in the morning.  It is also difficult for you to drift off to sleep at night.  In the darkness of the night, the stress of your situation keeps you up. You're not going to bed feeling nourished by your day.  

4. You're feeling stressed and anxious on your down time.  You find it difficult to relax, especially on Sundays.  Why?  You're too worried about what you have to go back to during the week.  The energy drain of what you're putting up with is leaving you zapped of motivation and creativity. 

5. At work, you're becoming complacent.  You may still be on top of all of your assignments, but you're only doing the bare minimum and even that takes EVERY ounce of your effort.  While at work, you're looking for any/every opportunity to escape; frequent smoke breaks, bathroom breaks, scrolling through the internet, and an increase of time spent on social media.

6. Once home, you're not likely to feel motivated, and even though you try not to bring the office home with you, it is occupying your mind.  The space it takes up in your head leaves you feeling less than present with your spouse and the household chores.  You feel so zapped of energy from work that you seek ways to escape at home.  Ultimately, you struggle to feel relaxed, unless on an extended vacation. Even then, it may take you 2-3 days on vacation before you fully allow yourself to unwind.  

7. When you're honest with yourself, every aspect of your life is being influenced by your situation at work.  You have less time with friends/family.  

8. You feel a slight disconnect with your spouse, and you may be feeling inadequate that you are unable to "make your job work".  You feel a sense of obligation to your spouse.  You want to please, provide, and be a source of good to your household.  You not feeling nourished at work may leave you feeling like you're failing in this category, which can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, anger, resentment, and displaced blame.  

Life doesn't have to be this way! There are ways to overcome this challenge so that you can experience something new! 

If you are not serving this job and it is not serving you, let it go to someone else who WILL serve it.  As you let it go, you allow yourself to move onto something else that is more nourishing for you, your relationships and your household.  

Want support in waking up to LOVING your life's work? I'd be honored!  Schedule your complimentary info session today!  Schedule now by clicking -- HERE!  

8 Tips to Connect To Your Brilliance

 

Do you ever get thrown off or your brilliance because you start listening to the Negative Nancy Crowd?  Btw, no offense intended toward anyone named Nancy.  See, that is an example, always trying to speak to everyone, make sure that all bases are covered, instead of just getting to the point of what you have to share!  

Here are your 8 tips to remain connected to your brilliance.

1. Make a list of times, places, spaces, environments, groups, etc where you feel safe to SHINE.

2. Identify situations where you feel most safe to be yourself.  

3. Identify times when you feel most inspired.

4. Clarify when you notice your creative juices flowing.

5. What time of the day do ideas come to you?


6. Create your BRILLIANCE Zone and then, GO THERE!  Give yourself permission to allow 
your brilliance to flow independent of outside influences.


7. Make a list of compliments and positive feedback that you've received.  Connect with the truth of this being who you are.  Yes, we ALL have bad days, we are human. The truth of who you are, the brilliance of who you are is always a positive.

8. INCREASE the time spent in your brilliance zone and limit your time spent with people and in situations where your brilliance is drained, hidden or shunned.  This may mean that you limit who you share your wins with - sorry Mom.  It may mean that you are intentional about where you're spending your time.  Most importantly, it means that you are choosing to give your attention, time, and energy to the brilliance that you have to offer the world.

As Marianne Williamson said in A Return to Love, "We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?"  You are here to be brilliant!  I see your brilliance and I believe in your ability to show up with courage, claiming who you are and what you are here to share with the world! 

Allowing your energy and brilliance to be diminished by those who may not appreciate or value it means that those who NEED your brilliance MISS OUT.  SHINE on.  Shine BRIGHTLY and be sure to surround yourself, as much as possible, with those who will support you to do just that.  If they're exceptionally great friends, they'll also motivate, inspire and encourage you to keep discovering new ways of shining even brighter.  They'll continue to support you to polish your natural ability to SHINE!

May this week be filled with moments of you feeling connected with your zone of brilliance!

5 Steps to Make Decisions From the Heart

How often do you feel yourself being caught up in your head by the swirling thought of making the RIGHT decision?  Recently, I have had a LOT of mind chatter, the kind that won't stop.  The voice that dominates is not a friendly one, it is a strong judging voice, suggesting that there is only ONE answer, and that I must find that one RIGHT solution and act on it.  The flaw in this kind of thinking is that it creates stress and panic, and shuts down creativity.  Thinking that there is only one solution leaves you hyper-focused in search of that ONE answer.  Instead of helping you, this approach leaves you FARTHER from the solution.  Why is it important to get out of your head and into your heart? Studies indicate that the heart may know MORE than our head.  Those same studies indicate that when shown emotionally stimulating objects, the heart is responding BEFORE the brain.  Why is this so important to understand?  If the heart is responding before the brain, it is an indicator that the heart is feeding the brain the messages, not the other way around, as we once thought.  When you stop to think about it, you know this same sensation in yourself. Your heart/gut responds in intuitive ways to situations that evoke emotions in you. Often, we dismiss this intuitive reaction and instead listen to the "common sense" in our head (left brain). Here are steps you can take to move from the swirling chatter in the head to the creative solution that resides in your heart:

1. Give yourself a break from NEEDING to find the solution RIGHT NOW! Unless you are in an emergency situation (e.g., a tiger is chasing you), you can afford to step away from the situation and the "need" to find the answer RIGHT now. Changing your focus allows you the opportunity to entertain creative solutions that you were unable to think of in panic mode.   You've seen this phenomenon active when you're searching for your lost keys, and only after you let go of searching do you look down and see them sitting in front of you, or have a thought of a place you haven't checked, and voilà, there they are!

2. Stop. Breath. Meditate. Pray. Read.  Allowing yourself to stop and release the situation to a higher power, consciousness, or source outside of yourself, creates a space for you to welcome solutions that come from outside of you.  When you recognize that you do not have to be THE ONE who comes up with ALL of the answers, you are able to receive and hear solutions that were not otherwise there.

3. Run. Exercise. Move your body! Movement will not only activate and open OLD neural pathways, it has the ability to GROW NEW ONES!  You read that right, increasing your heart rate and oxygenated blood to your brain supports you to create new neural pathways.  How does this support you?  As you stimulate your brain, you open yourself up to creative solutions and to answers that may be inside of you but are trapped and inhibited by old habits and ways of being. Oxygen circulating through your body increases your capacity to retain and retrieve information.  It also supports you to unleash creative solutions that have previously been locked.

4. Brain Dump - List at least 25 ways to solve the problem.  At the moment you may only have 3-5 ways to answer the issue.  Push yourself to think creatively, even if it is a solution that you'd NEVER use. For example, you could host a mud wrestling contest in your backyard to raise extra funds.  This list will surprise you.  Once you move beyond the solutions that come to mind quickly, you allow yourself to welcome solutions that come from beyond the mind and instead from the heart. The solutions in your mind are ones that often come easily.  The ones from the heart take more practice and this exercise will support you to move from your head to your heart.

5. Create your BLISS List, the things in your life that leave you feeling BLISSFUL and appreciative.  Studies indicate that gratitude is synonymous with feeling JOY.  When you're feeling mired down by the idea that you need to find a solution to a challenging problem, it makes sense that you would feel disconnected from your joy.  Spending time with your BLISS LIST will alter your state of joy.  Focusing on your joy will activate your heart space and unleash creative solutions.

Listening and making decisions from your heart takes practice.  Like any new habit that you adopt, be gentle with yourself.  Notice the gentle nudges, intuitive instincts, and gut reactions.  Give yourself permission to act on them and as you do, you build your intuitive muscle.  The stronger it gets and the more you use it, the more trust you'll develop for it.  Trusting your heart-guided instincts will support you to live with greater ease.

If you'd like other activities that will connect you with your intuition, contact Star Staubach of Stellar Evolution Coaching.  Star supports clients to ignite their inner radiance and wake up to a life they love living!  Visit Stellar Evolution Coaching to sign up to receive your free mp3 download of 10 tips to raise your Inner and Outer Radiance!

5 Tips to Move Through Feeling Heavy-Hearted

If you are anything like me, you've experienced a life challenge (death of a loved one, break up of a long term relationship, diagnosis of a life-altering illness) where, no matter the planning, no matter the attempts at holding a positive attitude, you still feel weighed down by the heaviness of the situation. You move between wanting to crawl into bed and pulling the covers up over your head to wanting to wake up with life returning to "normal", as if your situation didn't exist.  You want to remove yourself from it, making every attempt to distract yourself from feeling the full effect of the pain, hurt, anger, sadness, or other strong emotion that might be leaving you feeling stuck.  The reality is that no matter what you do to remove yourself from it, you still feel mired down by the details of the situation.

The Five Things you need MOST to move through this situation are:

1. Your feelings are there to SERVE YOU.  Let them.

Give yourself permission to feel every emotion that you are experiencing.  Avoiding what you are experiencing will only intensify it later.  Think of your feelings as indicators, such as the indicator on your gas tank, reminding you of when your gas tank needs to be filled up.  When this happens, you take the time to tend to what is needed.  You do not judge it or over-think it (too much), you just do what is needed and move on.  What if you were to do the same with your feelings?  They are here to serve as indicators, gently reminding you of the need to fill up with compassion for and acceptance of yourself, as well as the gift of being present to and for yourself.

2. Freedom to move about your day doing what feels right in the moment.
Take a nap if you need to, cry, exercise, clean, etc. Whatever you need in the moment, you give yourself permission to experience it. This might even mean taking a day off of work so that you can have the freedom to do what feels right for you in the moment.

3. Call-in support.
 It is important to have someone who can listen to you as you express what you are fully feeling.  This person not only listens, but they validate for you the challenge of the situation.  As much as you'd like to see it in a positive light, sometimes, the situation is HEAVY, sometimes it is OK to take a day and be with the weight of it,  and to allow the breakdown.

4. Permission to let go of the ideal image of what it "should" be like.
 In this situation it might be tempting to judge yourself that you should be somewhere other than where you are.  You "should" be experiencing different emotions than you are, you "should" be supporting others, conducting daily chores, etc.  There is NO perfect situation.  No perfect words to share, no perfect emotions to experience, no perfect tasks to move you through.  The perfection is in the imperfection of the moment.  It will feel messy, painful, and chaotic.  If it didn't, you would not be experiencing a true life challenge.

5. Avoid unhealthy ways of numbing the pain.
It can be tempting to turn to alcohol or other substances to numb the pain during this challenging time.  This is not only dangerous, it is counter-productive.  Altering your state with distractions and/or substances means you're pushing away the emotion, not eliminating it.   The only way to eliminate it is to feel it. Numbing your feelings with substances and/or other unhealthy distractions means the emotions will intensify until you cope with them in a real way.

Know that this moment will not last and before you know it, you will emerge with greater strength and a new appreciation of what you have gained from the experience.  Between now and then, hang on to the joy that surrounds you and resides within you, memories of days that are lighter.  

The #1 Answer to Every Question!

Have you ever started something or gone in a particular direction, without a clear image of what the journey or final destination would look like? When we are on a trip, we tend to allow space for new discovery.  Something changes within us when asked to allow for that same sense of curiosity and appreciating the changing scenery when it comes to our every day life. 

It was one year ago that I started Watch Me Grow Radio, without a clear vision of what it would turn into.  It was birthed out of a space of crisis.  I was feeling emotionally unsettled and found myself blaming my husband, children, life circumstances, family, and other external relationships.  When given the opportunity for reflection, I realized that the pain I was experiencing was from NOT taking my own advice.  I support clients to create powerful and lasting transformation in their lives, yet I wasn't creating that for myself.  I was going through the motions, expecting life to change FOR me.  I wanted the pieces of my life puzzle to miraculously fall into place. It wasn't happening.  Life was becoming more and more painful.  I was waking up angry, resentful, and riddled with blame and shame.  I thought that I "should" know how to shift from this place.  While all of this was happening, I had several professionals who came across my path who were not walking their talk - - the morbidly obese dietician who could not comfortably sit in his chair and the relationship coach who had been divorced 8 years and is currently living as a single mother.  It didn't add up.  And then, the thought occurred to me, "My pain is from not listening to my own wisdom, just as those professionals are experiencing the pain of not listening to theirs."

It was through this breakdown that I decided that I wanted to tap into the brilliance of working with a coach. I decided to interview my greatest mentors and allow them to coach me LIVE on air.  It was through my breakdown moment that Watch Me Grow Radio was born.  Had you told me then that within the year the show would have 130,000 listens and international guests who are experts in their fields, I would have scoffed at you and thought you were CRAZY! And here we are today, with that as a reality recognizing the truth, something AMAZING is waiting for you! What it requires is for you to STOP thinking so hard about the answer and instead allow it to come easily, naturally, and without great force or effort.  When it all started, it DID come with ease.  It began with the intention of allowing my own growth, recognizing that I was not living as fully as I wanted to be.  In that space of discomfort, I opened up to receiving answers from outside of myself.  I allowed myself to surrender to the idea that I had to know ALL, or ANY of the answers to my burning pain.  As a result, I have grown tremendously over the past year.  I feel more fully ALIVE!  I feel more connected in my relationships with my family, myself, my clients/business, my community, and with my body.  This week on air, I will share the BEST of Watch Me Grow Radio.  I share tips I received from amazing guests such as Dr. Christine Carter who studies happiness at UC Berkley's Greater Good Institute and Dr. Bruce Lipton, who was my guest last week.  I share true stories of my own transformation!

What is the #1 answer to ALL of your questions?  The answer is -- listen to your OWN advice.  It is that simple. Not sure what your advice would be?  Ask yourself this: What support would I give my best friend if she were coming to me with this same question?  Sit with it.  Notice what comes up. Sometimes it requires the presence and wisdom of others to be with you and other times it simply requires that you tune in and hear the message that you've been avoiding from yourself. 

The Joy of Letting Go

The Joy of Letting Go

Have you ever begun something with really high motivation, only to hit a road block that left you wondering if you’d ever see the result you set out for?  What do you do in that situation?  How do you navigate beyond that road block?  I found myself in that space recently, and it was deflating and left me feeling paralyzed. I didn’t know what to do and the image of achieving my goal was rapidly slipping from my thoughts.  Instead, my mind was riddled with more obstacles, fears, and doubts.  My head was filled with next steps of implementation for my business, while everywhere else, I was getting signs that my children needed me to stop attending to work and start attending to them.  My sitter quit: “This is my last day. So sorry. I can’t do this.”  It was in this space that I did the thing that felt most uncomfortable to me -- I let go.  I let go of forcing the answer.  I let go of needing it to look my way.  I let go of thinking I was in charge.  Reality was quickly showing me that I had little control of the situation.  It was a ROUGH space to be in.  It felt heavy and paralyzing, and I couldn’t see a way out. The moment I gave myself permission to let go, everything changed.  The following day was filled with a sense of ease, joy, appreciation, and much laughter.  I felt the weight lift.  Admittedly, my mind still wanted to drift to the “problems” of my situation.  I consciously decided to stay clear of thinking about it and instead chose to  focus on being present, in the moment with my children.  Passion and Relationship Coach, Joshua Barfelz of Unearth the Passion discusses this within relationships, encouraging each of us to go to the discomfort. The amygdala (fight or flight portion of our brain) is triggered when we feel discomfort and fear.  In that space we either fight with the situation (or person) we are faced with, or we flee.  Barfelz suggests that when it comes to relationships, since we are relatively safe, but feeling emotionally challenged, it is actually best when we stay with it, and do whatever feels MOST uncomfortable; connect, go to the other person, invite yourself to be more present to the situation, resist the urge to run from the problem.  Spending time with my children was not uncomfortable for me. Instead, the idea that spending time with them would be the solution felt distant.  It felt like I was being irresponsible to my business. In fact, it was the MOST responsible thing I could have done.  While attending to my children, I held the belief and trust that somehow I would find the time to implement my most important next steps for my business.  I surrendered the idea of needing the answers and instead welcomed the opportunity for solutions to flow my way. As you may have guessed, everything worked out fine.  You most likely didn’t notice that I didn’t have a newsletter to you, phone calls and other business-related obligations were tended to on an as-needed basis, which were extremely limited. Most importantly, my girls got to spend quality time with me, and I with them.  I got to see their sweet faces lit up, giggling, and free of worry.  I immediately found another sitter who is delighted at the opportunity to be with my girls AND I attracted a sponsor for my radio show -- a MAJOR WIN in my business and something I have been seeking for months.  I share this with you because I believe this same experience can be yours.  What are you feeling yourself gripping onto?  What are you wanting to flee?  Gift yourself (and others) by going to what feels most uncomfortable.  Extend a gesture to the person you’re feeling distanced from.  Remove yourself from a situation that you feel stuck in.  Notice the way you typically respond and today choose to be with the situation differently by doing what feels uncomfortable.  I believe in you.  Share your comments and feedback below.  Like what you’re reading? Pass it along it along to a friend, maybe this message being passed is your way of extending the olive branch needed. 

Beat Your Own Drum

What thoughts do you have when you hear a statement about beating your own drum? At a workshop recently, a young man said that he feels most alive when he drums.  He was asked to do it on the spot.  When he did, the audience erupted in dance and excitement.  His drumming not only made him come alive, it supported others to do the same.  OK, so he quite literally was drumming, but it got me to thinking that this is a great metaphor for life.  It made me wonder, what is my gift?  What do I have that when expressed brings more joy to the world? I ask the same question of you.  What supports you to beat your own drum of excellence?  If you are anything like me, you might have mind chatter that tells you that beating your own drum is egotistical and selfish.  Maybe you tell yourself that somehow doing so would make you stand out, leaving others to feel insignificant.  The truth that I witnessed as this young man beat on his makeshift drum was quite the opposite of insignificance. Instead, the audience felt more alive! He felt witnessed, validated, and celebrated!  Everyone was lifted by the experience of him beating away, at his own rhythm. Had he played softly, none of them would have had the same experience.  Not all of us have an actual drum that we play on, but we do have a unique gift and when expressed, that gift ignites a spark in the world.   When stifled, tucked away, dismissed and sometimes even shamed, we deprive ourselves and others the opportunity of experiencing the great joy that results from full self expression.  Do yourself a favor and stop the pain of dismissing your gifts. For years, I allowed myself to be contained for fear of what others would think or how they would feel about it.  I could feel the restriction of it and the pain of putting myself into a box that didn’t fit me.  I tried to fit in, blend in and play it safe. 

Give yourself permission to beat your own drum.  Full expression improves the lives of those around you.  Beware, there are some however, who are used to you being contained and it feels uncomfortable and even unpredictable for them if you no longer fit that mold.  It will feel challenging for you to keep your beat.  Over time you'll naturally gravitate to those who celebrate and encourage you while giving you permission to fully be you.  

1. Surround yourself with at least 2-4 people who are able to see you and celebrate, encourage and believe in you. 
2. Notice the way you feel and the way others feel when you are expressing your gifts. Can you think of a time when you felt really joyful after expressing talents?  Maybe it was after a meal you prepared or after delivering a report to a group of peers.  Take notice of how this moment not only blessed you and made you feel whole, but it also blessed those who were present to witness it. 
3. Ask for feedback when it feels appropriate. 
4. Create a “GO FOR IT” pile.  When others are witness to your gifts, they share compliments and encouraging words.  Collect these words of affirmation and return to them when you feel distanced from or in question of your own talent.  This list will support you to keep going through the moments when you feel like the lonely drummer.  

Remember, although you may beat the rhythm of your own drum, others can pick up and will jive with you when you start.  They’re waiting for you to start, so that they can jump in with you!, sharing in a dance of joy and aliveness!  

Here’s to you beating your drum, attracting and connecting with others who resonate with your rhythm and vibe.  I see you shining!  

If you would like to more fully express your talents, feel free to contact Star Staubach for your complimentary consultation.  

Play A Bigger Game

Last week I had a conversation with a friend about playing big. She shared with me that she sometimes feels judgement from me that she is too “small”.  It made me sad to think that she heard the message at some point that I think she is playing too small.  It made me wonder, “Are there other people who think I am judging where they are?  How am I making people feel that way?”  I get it.  I talk a lot about living to your potential, living your dream, playing a bigger game.  I have fallen short of defining what it means for me to say, “dream big”.  In working with my clients, I have found that the majority of them have little idea of what their dream is, until asked, until I give them permission to attend to it.  When was the last time you gave yourself permission to really dream BIG?  For me, playing big is not associated with anything tied to the ego.  It is not measured against someone else, it is not scaled as in BIG or SMALL.  Instead, playing BIG means FULLY living out who you are.  Give yourself permission to be you. If living in a cozy one-bedroom apartment is your dream and you’re LOVING it, AWESOME! If your dream is traveling the world with your family, AWESOME!  I am not attached to what your ideal life looks like.  It may appear small, it may appear luxurious, it may appear humble, what it looks like doesn’t matter.  What matters is how it feels on YOU!  When you hear me say play BIG, it means, PLAY BIG at BEING YOU!  Playing BIG at being you means you stand up for your values, you are unapologetic about who you are and what your convictions are.  It means you are comfortable, confident, and secure in the life you are living.  Playing BIG at being YOU means you are maximizing your opportunity for joy.  It doesn’t mean that you’re eating steak and lobster ever night (although for some it may mean that). It means celebrate, honor, treasure, and value who you are, the gifts you bring, and the life you live.  If you’re feeling removed from that in any way, that is an indicator that there is more of you to be shared, experienced, celebrated, and expressed.  When you reach that space of fully expressing and living as YOU, you’ll experience the greatest joy you have ever known.  You’ll be energized, full of life, and have the ability to creatively navigate through obstacles. 

How to identify that you are playing BIG: 

Are you feeling fulfilled at the end of the day?  Do you go to sleep most nights saying to yourself, "Today was a good day.  I served the world today."? 

2. Do you spend the day doing what you love?  Are you doing tasks that leave you feeling connected to your joy? 

3. Are there times when you do not know what the next step is?  If you know the next step and everything is ordered, planned, and structured, I would suggest that your dream is not big enough! A BIG dream requires that you let go of being in control.  It requires you to be open, curious, and BOLD. 

4. Are you feeling valued, honored, and celebrated?  When you're living your dream and are in alignment with your truest essence, you no longer hide your gifts.  When you share your gifts you are celebrated by being compensated. 

5. You cannot do it alone.  No one ever does.  It is a myth we tell ourselves, that we should be able to achieve everything all on our own.  The truth is, every successful person has a someone -- maybe even a team of people -- supporting them. Do not hesitate to ask for help and delegate the tasks that take time from your serving in a bigger way.  Hand those tasks over to someone who will LOVE the opportunity to do them. The irony is that while I was attempting to make everyone happy, the result was that everyone was being deprived of the joy that I seek to create in the world.  In taking up that space in the job that was not serving me, I was also denying someone more qualified and more motivated the opportunity to THRIVE in it.  As I released the burden of thinking that I had to stay, I opened up opportunities for a better, more productive space for all.  

6. Are the relationships in your life leaving you feeling supported and nourished?  Do you feel encouraged to be yourself?

Feeling stuck by a fear of disappointing others?

I am a people-pleaser.  Do you know anyone like that?  Actually, to more accurately describe myself, I would say that I REALLY detest displeasing people.  I like to see others happy.  You might even say that I'm slightly addicted to pleasing.  For years that would mean that I would avoid saying, "No", or refrain from asking for what I want, as I wouldn't want someone to be overextended for my sake.  It would mean that I would avoid certain social situations, out of fear of disappointing others.  I remember one particular incident when 3 separate groups of friends were all going to be at the same venue and each of them invited me to join in the fun.  I was panic stricken, to the point that I didn't go.  I didn't realize what was going on at the time.  I knew that I was anxious and stressed.  It was an a-ha moment for me when I realized that the anxiety that I was experiencing was attached to my own fear of saying no and ultimately disappointing a friend, or several friends, as was the case in this situation.  Upon examination, I did this often.  In the past my addiction to pleasing others meant that I accepted a job that I knew wasn't right for me and then staying well beyond the date that I said I would, all to accommodate someone else. At least, that was what I was telling myself.  The reality was that I wasn't being of service to that job.  I was a horrible employee; complacent, unmotivated, depressed, moody, and addicted to seeing everything WRONG with my employer and her business.  It was unhealthy for all involved.  I was coming home in tears.  I was far removed from living from my purpose.  Part of me was dying inside at that job.  I literally had feces being thrown at me and a behavior plan in place asking a student to "Hit me harder" every time he hit me.  Although difficult, this dark place was also necessary for me to experience.  I wasn't going to move from this job as long as it was comfortable.  Deep down, I knew that there was more that I was meant to experience in life.  As I became more clear about what I wanted, it was easier to say no to the things that were not taking me there.  I said no to dates, job offers, and events that I felt were not supporting me to be living the life I wanted. I started saying YES to my big dreams.  The more that I said yes to my bigger vision, the more opportunities I found to support me to get there.  The two went hand in hand.  

Below is a checklist to see if your fear of disappointing others is holding you back:

1. Do you silently feel resentful and/or angry at the other person or the situation?  You tend to keep quiet about it.  You do not want to hurt anyone's feelings, but deep down, you are angry about feeling trapped by the situation.

2. Are you finding yourself avoiding the situation as much as possible?  You have a fear of what will come up if you start interacting.  You fear letting your own discomfort show.  You feel exhausted by trying to control it all and keep it from showing. 

3. Do you find yourself checking out at any/every opportunity?  When you are honest with yourself, you are not giving them the attention that they are asking for.  You are becoming complacent and sometimes that even results in mistakes being made. 

4. Do you find yourself daydreaming about being somewhere other than where you are?  You are on the phone, planning a night out with friends, checking facebook, texting, ANYTHING to avoid the present moment, reminding you of where you are.

5. Are you feeding yourself in other ways?  When you are not honoring yourself, you tend to seek nourishment from other sources; food, relationships, social media, etc.  Are you finding yourself stuck in a pattern that feels less than healthy?  This could be an indicator that you are compromising your own needs as a result of your fear of disappointing others.

6. Do you find yourself saying "Yes" when you want to be saying "no"?  Do you overextend yourself, saying yes to things that you do not have the time for? Does this leave you feeling resentful? 

As you release the fear of disappointing others, a miraculous thing happens, you stop holding back as you feel more freedom to be you.  In the process, you enrich the lives of those around you in a meaningful and authentic way.  

If you'd like to feel a sense of your freedom and have a meaningful impact on the lives of those around you, contact Star Staubach of Stellar Evolution Coaching.  Star supports clients to ignite their inner radiance and wake up to a life they love living! Schedule a free consultation today!