Oh well, that is just the way I am....

"I cannot help it, that is just the way I am."  Either you've said it yourself, or you've heard someone else say it.  It is usually an attempt to justify a behavior such as a sharp tongue or blunt personality.  YES, each of us has a different personality AND each of us has a unique opportunity to grow.  For some, our growth is in allowing ourselves to be still and do less.  For others the growth is pushing ourselves to do more and take risks in allowing our voices to be heard.  What is your go to excuse?  What do you notice you telling yourself or others, "Oh, that is just the way I am..."  What is mine?  I find myself over and over making the excuse that I cannot get enough sleep.  The truth is, I CAN get sleep.  I choose to stay up late, usually doing nothing that is requiring my immediate attention.  I find myself making excuses, "But I just want some down time from the children."  How much more down could sleeping be?  Seriously?  Digging our heals in and declaring that we cannot change is a way of avoiding the discomfort of doing something new.  Notice the discomfort and know that it is speaking to you, calling you to attend to an area you would otherwise avoid.  Sit with the challenge.  The pain of avoiding is often far greater than the space of discomfort.  In that discomfort is your growth, your opportunity to see a different perspective, your opportunity to release the pain of avoiding.  I believe in you.  I believe in your ability to get through the growing pains and move to the other side, experiencing the benefits of your fresh outlook and freedom.

Fear; The Indicator of Growth

A lot of exciting things are happening with Stellar Evolution Coaching!  I am noticing that as the business evolves, my fears are having the opportunity to be tested.  The coolest part of the process of growth is that the fears are usually NEVER as big in reality as they are in my mind.  Do you have the same experience?    Sometimes I even notice my fears holding me back.  As I was running last week, I could feel myself holding back with the thought, "I have to hold back, I don't want to over do it.  What if I can't keep this momentum?  What if I run out of breath?  What if I collapse in exhaustion?"  The reality is, what if any one of those fears did actually come to fruition?  The truth is, if I feel out of breath, overwhelmed, or exhausted, I will automatically slow down.  My body knows what I need and I trust that I am not going to allow myself to collapse in exhaustion from a light jog.  The key word?  Trust.  If fear is showing up, it is an indication that growth is around the corner.  Growing pains mean that we are about to graduate to a new level.  Remember that feeling of graduating from school?  We were scared, excited and nervous about what the real world would be like?  And then once we entered into that next phase, we found new things to love about it.  Allow fear to be an indicator for you that you are on the path to new growth.  

Want support moving through the fear of the next step? Schedule your complimentary consultation.  

The Healthy Stress of Intimacy

Each month I delay a little longer in sending out my newsletter.  I can procrastinate with the best of them.  All through my studies in college, I noticed myself putting off assignments and projects until the last minute.  I could see the method in my madness, but I didn't know that there was actual science to support what I knew was true for me.  I was recently introduced to the work of Dr. John Ratey, author of Spark; The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain.  In his book, Dr. Ratey discusses the release of epinephrine in the brain when we experience stress.  The brain perceived all of the following situations as stress; social/emotional challenges, job-related stress, exercise, healthy intercourse, AND the stress of waiting until the last minute to complete a task.  The flight of fight response of the amygdala ("reptilian brain") is triggered.  The fight of flight response of the amygdala served us, and even saved our lives when we, as a species, were being threatened by dangerous animals.  Now, our bodies still prepare for the fight or flight when we experience stress.  In preparing our bodies for that response, the epinephrine and the triggering of the amygdala support the brain to make quick decisions, think on our feet and have a more clear focus.  After reading the science behind it, my procrastination made much more sense to me.  As I suspected, in waiting until the last minute, I was able to complete the task and feel relatively clear about my direction and concentrated focus.  However, had I created healthy stress along the way through exercise and/or healthy intercourse, I could have avoided the pain produced by the procrastination.   If you or someone you know is addicted to the unhealthy stress, know that it is not the stress that you seek, but instead the rush of epinephrine.  Try producing that same rush through healthy sex or exercise and see what kind of results you get in your ability to complete tasks.  Share your comments and results here!  I love to hear what it looks like in your life! 

5 Steps to Come ALIVE with Radiance

COME ALIVE with radiance, joy and passion! 

1. BE curious!  
    
 ~ Allow yourself to be open to the opportunities that are flowing your way!  What does it look like to be curious?  Sometimes it is as simple as noticing that you have a vision of how things should be.  When that awareness creeps in, when you notice yourself feeling attached to an outcome, turn up the curiosity.  Allow yourself to question, is there more here for me to experience?  Is there a different way to see this?  Could I experience a different turn out than what is expected?  Is there another way to achieve the goal?

2. Claim what you LOVE about Life!

    List 5 things that you LOVE about your life! Claim it, own it! What are you loving about
    your life?  Feel yourself connect to that love of life, as it is in this moment.  Gratitude is
    synonymous for happiness.  

3. Say, "YES!"  

    Yes to receiving; gifts and compliments. When someone offers you a compliment, it is ok
    to say, "Yes, I do look good today.  Yes, I will accept that invitation for a coffee. Yes, I will
    receive support.  Yes, I like these earrings, as well."

4. Give to Yourself ~ 
    
    Give yourself something special; a bubble bath, a coffee break, luxurious night's sleep, a
    bouquet of flowers.  Take the time to do something special for YOU!  

5.  Listen to the whispers that are calling you to be the best version of yourself. 

     What is calling you to attend?  What do you KNOW that if you started doing it today,
     your quality of life would improve?  Drink more water?  Earlier bedtime?  Listen to your
     whispers. 
  

Wring Out 2012! Ring in 2013

This New Year's Eve, make a list of all of the things that held you back in 2012.  Just as you would wring out a sponge, so that it will have the capacity to hold MORE, allow yourself to purge all that kept you from your dreams in 2012.  Release it.  Write it out, dig a hole in your back yard and scream your list into the ground and then burry it.  Leave it there, literally and figuratively.  Recognize that you are no longer in need of your self doubt.  Release the self-imposed limitations!  I have them, you have them, we all have them.  Some are as simple as, "I do not have time to invest in a hobby".   Notice the chatter holding you back from taking the next step toward your dreams. Today, let yourself empty the chatter, so that you can fill your mind with thoughts of your dreams!  You wouldn't host a party without first having a thought about having friends over.  If you entertain the thought that no one would attend you wouldn't bother going through the necessary steps to make it happen; creating a guest list, sending it out, purchasing supplies and preparing for their arrival.  The same applies to your dreams!  Hold the thought.  Clear your mind of the limiting beliefs that have held you back.

Live On Forever

I think we can all agree that the world needs more love, compassion and radiance.  Without it, we starve ourselves by hoarding and seeing one another as competitors.  What legacy are you ready to leave the world with? What imprint are you leaving behind when you go?

Get Your Shine On!

What makes you shine during the Holiday Season?  Whether you celebrate the holidays or not, we could all use a little magic of this time of year.  What is the magic you ask? Too often it takes deprivation, devastation, or a natural disaster for us to rally together, work in collaboration for the common good.  Disconnect from one another brings about feelings of depression and stress.  We need one another and collectively, we function at a higher level when we work together.  The magic of the holidays is about coming together and feeling connected to one another.  Want to feel the buzz of the holidays?  Here is a list of ways you can put your SHINE on:

Invite friends over for a night of games
Volunteer with an organization that serves others
Donate food and essential items to a shelter
Commit random acts of kindness
Shovel snow for a neighbor
Write a letter to a friend or family member
Register for a class or book study
Host a dance party for friends
Take a meal to a family in need
Join an indoor sports league
Call a friend to share how much they mean to you
Join a choir or music group

What are other ways that you are able to feel connected to those around you?