Kicking the Fear Habit

When was the last time you been faced with a situation where you felt yourself being challenged to keep moving through to the next step? As I sat down to the computer this morning, I had the intention of writing a press release. Instead, I’m noticing my desire to do anything apart from writing a press release. The house needs to be straightened, I should reach out to that friend in need, e-mails need to be tended to, invoices need to be updated, I have a sudden urge to EAT (yes, I just emptied the remainder of the ice cream in my freezer), the self-sabotaging list grows longer by the minute. I notice that the closer I get to writing this press release that I keep saying that I want to write, the more I feel the desire to give my attention to something else. Internally, I feel my heart racing, my anxiety levels increasing and my body is experiencing an overal tightening. The fear is nearly overwhelming. So, now what? I access my tools:
1. Deepen awareness I get clear about what is happening inside. In this instance, I know that I don’t really want to write a press release. I’m telling myself that I should or that I have to.

2. Identify with clarity With the awareness that I don’t really want to be writing a press release, I move to a place of identifying what it is that I do want, which is to bring my skills and talents as a coach to a broader audience. I’ve told myself that writing a press release and having a published article is that next step. Letting go of that idea that a press release has to be that next step and instead welcoming new ideas.

3. Release judgement The next step for me is to let go of the thoughts of judgement that hold me back from moving forward. Judgement is another excuse to stay put.

4. Reframe thoughts Somewhere along the way I told myself that I had to do this on my own, that it was going to be “hard”. I let go of the idea that it will be hard. I release the idea that I have to do this perfectly or that I have to do it all on my own. When I notice these limiting and sabotaging thoughts, I have the ability to reframe them.

5. Be Gentle with Self while in the processing stage As I reach for the ice cream, I refrain from negative self chatter, which only serves to further distract me from the task before me. I gift myself with the ability to be gentle with myself in the process, knowing that eventually, I’ll crawl my way to the next step, knowing that even with the ice cream polished off, the dishes done and the kitchen shelves rearranged, it is NEVER too late to begin again. The task I have at hand will be there when I am ready to pick it up.

6. Ask for & receive support I release the idea that this has to be all me. I welcome the energy of a fresh outlook, the support of an objective ear, and the wisdom of someone who has greater skills in the area that I feel I have.

7. Move through it and DO IT!

Every task has to start somewhere. I make a list of ways I can start NOW, with what I have, with where I am. I start with the smallest things I can do and I do this without limitation. I let go of the idea that I have to have all of the pieces in place and I do what I can with what I have, trusting that it will eventually come together. Waiting for ALL of the pieces to be in place is another way that I allow myself to stall the process and remain stuck. I let go of being stuck and I move through it. What tools do you have on your list? How do you support yourself to advance to the next level? Like what you're reading? Come "Like" Stellar Evolution Coaching on Facebook. Schedule your very own complimentary consultation with Star Staubach.