Mental Weight Lifting

Someone asked me today, "Star, how are you?"  As I answered with my usual, "Oh, things are good...." I found myself stuffing down how I was really feeling, which is an overall heaviness.  Later she asked, "You don't seem like yourself, last time I saw you, you had an amazing positive energy about you.  What is going on?"  I felt as if I had been caught stealing.  Red faced and heart racing, I could feel the tension inside of me.  And then I blurted out, "There has been a lot going on with my family.  My brother.... and my mother has been a hand full too..."  This conversation led to a lot of heavy issues, you know, the kind that might feel taboo to talk about.  I left that interaction feeling the weight of all of them.  I came home, sat with the question, "What was that?  What did you just open up?"  This is what came back at me, "Honey, you are feeling the weight and heaviness of those around you, because you haven't been dedicated to doing your own work, the work that keeps you centered, the work that keeps you grounded, the work that allows you to stay in that space of true understanding, knowing that these heavy issues are not yours to absorb.  These issues are ALWAYS there.  Some days they are a bit more intense than others, yet they are always there.  Today feels heavy, because you have allowed your strength to slip."  Yes, busted!  I have been giving my attention to the issues that feel heavy, leaving me feeling the weight of them.  It is in this moment that I declare that I will get back on that bandwagon of doing my work by journaling, exercising my mind, challenging myself in healthy ways, and when needed, stepping away from the drama that might come from the situations that are around me.  So, what does it look like to step away from the drama?  It means that I am doing the following:

1. Stop feeding it!
I will not chat about it.  This is sometimes extremely difficult, as these stories are JUICY!  I know that talking (gossiping) about them doesn't serve me, it doesn't serve the listener, and it doesn't serve the party playing the leading role.

2. Focusing on the present moment.  When I bring myself away from the drama of the past or what I fear to be the future, I am able to enjoy the ease of my breath, the gratitude for colors in nature, the weather, everything and anything surrounding me!

3. Taking myself off of the computer/social media, where gossip and stories are spread, where it is easy for me to continue validating the story, as I know it.

4. Go within, allowing myself time to journal, meditate, and pray, so that I can return to what I know to be true, that this drama is not mine and it serves no one to give attention to it.

5. Scheduled time with Friends.

6. Breath.
I focus on my breathing and on the awareness that my body is bringing me to. When I feel the tightness in my chest, the anxiety, the heaviness, I spot it, acknowledge it and give it permission to be released.

7. Exercise

8. LAUGH!
Laugher is a form of release.  It helps "relieve pain, brings greater happiness and can even increase immunity" The Stress Management and Health Benefits of Laughter.

9. PLAY
Nothing quite brings me out of my head and into the moment like giggling children! Don't have children around?  Force yourself to doodle, skip, or simply jump in place.


What do you do when you find yourself ruminating about an issue that is out of your control?  How do you bring yourself to a healthier place?

THANK YOU to my amazing friends, who continue to ask the difficult questions, who continue to support me to grow and who allow me to be in whatever space they may find me in.